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2003-08-31 @ 10:05 p.m.
1-800-help-witty-kitty

First I had no help and then everyone in my family is tripping over each other vying for the opportunity to move my 378 boxes of books. Honest to God. My aunt called this morning around 9. Wait, let me back up. My uncle offered to help me move my smaller stuff several days ago, but the time and day were up in the air. And the mode of transportation was in question. He does have a vehicle nicknamed "the deathtrap" which he was going to use to transport my most precious items and I agreed since a deathtrap is better than no trap at all.

But I was still anxious since I didn't know what day he was coming. I'm a time and date kind of gal, ya see. You know the type... always on time. People call me to see when meetings are. So saying I'll be over sometime next week to move your stuff in my deathtrap. Well, I was a little stressed.

So in steps my aunt. She's ultra sweet. Very Catholic. She called this morning and offered to rent a U-Haul for me and throw in some relatives to help me at a specific time. Nirvana! BUT, my uncle had offered first and had already lined up someone to help. I conferred with my mom. She seemed perturbed that I would even consider my aunt's offer over my uncle's since my uncle had first dibs.

Imagine that...first dibs on ME! I must be important. And of course for me, there's always the "I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings" clause.

I'm closer to my aunt than my uncle who I only see every 2-3 years. My aunt is my godmother. But my uncle was first. My uncle is a great guy. At his son's recent wedding he choreographed moves to the music of "Hawaii Five-O". The wedding had been very sedate up until my uncle started surfing on the dance floor, wiping out off an imaginary surfboard and rolling around on the floor like he was being thrashed about by a giant wave. This, with all the tuxedoed groomsmen at this frou frou Irish Country Manor. It was hilarious. (You have to love having an uncle like that. Of course my mother is like that to. She likes putting spoons on her nose and wearing fright wigs to public functions...and they say I'm crazy!)

So anyway. Everyone is fighting over me tonight. My aunt, who is sweet, but likes to be in control had pretty much already set things up and told my uncle he shouldn't be lifting anything heavy because of his heart condition. I was in a major quandary, but I was also really tired (I had brought about 20 boxes over to the new place and unpacked most of them and am now in a lot of pain. I suffer from fibromaylgia and can't do a lot of physical labor) and had to think of a way to not step on any toes. And I did it.

I took my aunt up on her offer of the U-Haul and her grand daughter and her husband helping me (they're both very, very religious and I think they're getting extra credit for this), but I also made it later in the afternoon, both to give me more time to pack and to also give my uncle time to join us in late afternoon to unpack at the other house. Voila! Then everyone gets a shot at helping Witty Kitty and there will not be any family feuds and we'll all live happily ever after.

God, I'm a fucking genius. Thanks everyone!!

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty

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