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2003-12-31 @ 7:03 p.m.
projectiles....incoming....

So I was doing a little master-de-bating this morning. I mean I couldn't let all this loveliness go to waste, and I was the winner of the wittykitty you-WILL-get-lucky date-o-rama. So I was laying in bed with the purple vibrator firmly pressed in the Garden of Eden. Unfortunately I am still a sick girl, and with one mighty cough, the vibrator suddenly became a projectile.

I-N-C-O-M-I-N-G!!!!

Think the cat was scared shitless as the vibrator rocketed past her freakin' head.

So my car was ready to pick up today and the biggest task was getting my mom here. Her ability to follow directions are right up there with Stevie Wonder driving. I gave her very specific directions and about 20 minutes after she was due here, I get a frantic call from the market where she got lost last time. She had missed my street by a mere three miles. It's really too bad the house I'm at isn't next to the market. Then we'd be in great shape.

So she had to bring me back to my house to get my $100 bill which I had stuck in a book. I could have probably had the landlord let her in to get the money but I had stuck it in the book "Toxic Parents" and thought she might get upset if she saw that I owned such an incidiary book. She does, after all, think I grew up in a happy, idyllic home.

I was finally able to get my mail and happily I also received a $50 check from my friend in California. So that will help out a little bit.

It was kind of weird picking up my old clunker. I had really thought it was a goner the other night. I really think my mother had played the poverty card at the repair shop. She is really good at making people feel sorry for you and giving you a break. I don't really feel comfortable doing that, but I did let her do her thing out of necessity. Unfortuately she even carried it over today when we were paying for it. I had a check for $200 from my aunt and then I had the $100. I had broken the $100 at lunch, so I was counting out $20 bills and my mom said, "Oh you know how poor people are, counting out crumpled bills."

Oy! I didn't really think that was necessary. I'm poor, but I do try to have a little dignity and the shop had already given us a break on the price as it was.

We then went to a computer place. My mom had promised to get me a scanner for christmas, but we had never gotten around to it. We went to a place that sells used equipment, and the lowest priced one there was $60. I had found a new one for $45 at Office Max. Unfortunately before I could do anything, she went into her act with the sales guy. Part flirting and part chiding about us not having alot to spend. I walked right out of the door. I didn't want anything to do with that. I actually went out and pouted in the car. Then about 5 minutes later she comes carrying it out. She said the guy sold it to her for $45. I was really embarrassed, but I took it. I really need a scanner both for my work and for E-Bay.

Mothers...snarl....you can't shoot them, and you can't leave them by the curb with the recycling.

I finally talked to Married Guy last night. Hadn't talked to him in a week. I had called his cell phone and got his voice mail. But almost before the phone hit the cradle he called back. He seemed genuinely happy to hear from me. I hadn't given him my house sitting number. (oversight...mine).

He told me about his birthday. His dad is ill. And about his arraignment stemming from his recent arrest. Asked him what having an arraignment meant...since I don't usually associate with a "criminal element'.

I'm going to be going in Monday for a massage. If this sinus pain continues, I might have him massage my face. He did that one other time when I had really severe sinusitis, and it felt really good, relieving some of the pressure in the old noggin.

So now I only have to occupy myself for a couple of more days. One good thing about hiring a manic depressive house sitter is that when they get bored (which is after about 5 minutes), they start cleaning your house. And that's what I've started to do here. I've already cleaned some windows and last night I lugged down this huge 400 pound vacuum cleaner to the first floor. It took me like 10 minutes to find the "on" switch, but then when I did, that mother nearly sucked up the dining room furniture and the dog, before I got it under control....

The only thing I can say....Never a dull moment at the wittykitty house.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty

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