2006-07-20 @ 1:18 a.m.
Today I got an e-mail from my high school reunion person thanking everyone for their participation in this weekend's high school reunion in Occidental and Forestville. I guess close to 100 people showed up (this included spouses since our class only had about 60 kids graduating back in 1976). And then it had a little link to some photos of the event. Of course I was very excited to see the old kids from E.M.H.S., so I clicked on the link and saw....
I swear to God!! That was from the picnic Sunday! Okay, you're right, that was really from the 1980's movie "Cocoon" but it might have well have been a picture from my reunion, because I was totally shocked at the pictures of the "kids" from my class. They ain't kids anymore. They old people. Not me of course. Nope. I'm still young. And totally adorable and...
That was your cue to nod your head in total agreement. Geeze. It took you long enough. Thanks alot.
Anyways, the photos were alarming. I sat and looked through about 50 of them and only recognized one person. One person!! And the only reason I recognized him was because he went to Hollywood and became an independent film maker and I had seen his picture in Premiere Magazine a few years ago when his movie came out. He still looked good and was dressed Hollywood Independent Film maker appropriate and yes, even HAD FRICKIN' HAIR.
Because, my God...was our school like next to a leaking nuclear plant or something? I think out of about 30 guys, 29 of them were bald, nearly bald or looking at ads for Alopecia. Yeah, it was that bad. Plus, what was the deal with the loud Hawaiian shirts? Is there like some secret high school reunion protocal I don't know about? I mean the entire male population of my class turned out to be a bunch of chubby bald guys in loud Hawaiian shirts! It looked like a freakin' Karaoke Night down at the Don Ho Tiki Lounge. And to think I was worried about being single, with no children and no career. At least I'm cute!
As far as the women? I actually only recognized one of them out of 50 pictures too. One!! Did I even go to that high school? And since I went to high school in a highly hippie-fied area of Northern California, there were still a lot of Kumbaya types. Long straight hair. Strappy tank tops with saggy boobs. Although there were a couple of old church lady types. Chunky. Permed hair. White eye shadow. Now darlin', why would you be wearing white eye shadow when you in such obvious need of a brow lift? I mean, you're only emphasizing what the Lord Jesus is toyin' with on your forehead, there Darlene. And what's with that big 1980's broad-shouldered sequined jacket? It sure ain't gonna cover that mile wide ass you got hiding under there either....Darlene.
Sorry, I'm just getting back at that cheerleader bitch who stole my gay boyfriend in high school. Her name was Darlene and she looked like Cybil Shepherd in "Last Picture Show" and even acted like her. Blonde. Perfect. Totally self absorbed. And guys were just falling all over themselves over her. Even my gay boyfriend. He tossed me over for our junior prom when she momentarily glanced in his direction for like 1.1 seconds and he thought she was in love with him, so he dumped me and I didn't even get to go to the prom. And neither did he, because after dumping me, he asked her to go and she laughed in her liltingly blonde way and said, "huh?" And then none of us went to the prom. Well, she did of course, because I think she had five or eight dates that night. And then he came crawling back to me, of course. Because I knew all the lyrics to "Cabaret" and she didn't. You just can't love a gay boy and not know the lyrics to a Broadway musical. Its the law.
Anyhoo, so as I was looking at those pictures today, instead of feeling good about seeing everybody, I actually felt a little depressed about how time had marched on.
I mean when you look in the mirror everyday, you don't really see a person thirty years older. You just see witty, the person who likes to write and draw. The person who loves "Manhattan" and "The Princess Bride". The person who loves Mexican and Italian food. The person who loves to walk and enjoys nature. The person who has a great sense of humor. The person who enjoys helping people at work and making them feel good about themselves.
The thing is....how come I look the same in the mirror, as I did 30 years ago? Sure I've gained weight, but I'm actually in better shape now than I was then. Would the people at the reunion have known who I was? Did they know who I was then? Maybe not. Because most of my friends in high school were younger than me. Not really sure why. I've only dated one person older than me once. And when I took him home to meet my Dad, I realized something kinda weird. My God....he's just like my Dad!!Ack! Because they sat and talked for hours and I actually found that so disquieting that I broke up with him soon after that. Why? Because although I loved my Dad, I certainly didn't want to marry him. That would have been, I don't know...creepy.
So after looking at all the pictures of everybody at the Union Hotel from over the weekend, I no longer had that burning desire to arrive in a stretch white limo with Johnny Depp. That whole idea was strangely deflated when I saw a huge crowd of dumpy, dimply women with newly dyed hair and a bunch of jowly, chubby balding men in loud Hawaiian shirts. Ha! In fact I was sitting at my desk thinking, they should be so lucky to be in the company of the most awesome and glamourous (if you squint) awittykitty.
yeah....I'm a legend in my own mind. Its easier that way. (cough)
Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty