Today when I went out my front door to go to the store, there was one of my landlord’s famous post-it notes. He is unable to actually knock on my front door and tell me something. He must communicate via post-it notes, like we work in some huge corporate office and are unable to communicate in any other way, like say 1) knocking on my door and telling me something. 2) calling me up on the phone and telling me something. or 3) contacting me via psychic ESP messages. No, he must whip out his ever-present post-it notes (doesn’t every one carry them?) and write things like “Your rent is going up $20 in December” and then in December after he hadn’t contacted Section Eight and I wasn’t allowed to pay the higher rent because
he fucked up of his inability to follow governmental protocol, he wrote me another post-it note and demanded the extra $20 on the sly. Unfortunately I can lose Section Eight if I “cheat” (i.e., do a financial sneakie on the side), so his own stupidity tripped him up.
So the post-it note today said my bathroom is leaking water and to call him. I looked around and there was no apparent water anywhere, but then when I stepped down on the corner of the floor by the shower, it was all soft and mushy like it was rotted under the linoleum. Shit! This place, while charming, is truly falling apart. I have rusty water coming out of my faucets. My bathroom sink is constantly clogged. The cement sidewalks are all pock-marked and crumbling. The top stair going down into the parking lot has this huge crack across it and looks like it just one heavy footstep away from crumbling down into the parking lot (and that’s down about 8 cement stairs, so that will make for a big
I haven’t called him yet. I frankly can’t stand the guy. He’s the person responsible for the whole Garden Hacker fiasco last summer. If he had done his job and actually kept his word when he said he would tell Hacker to stop, nothing would have ever happened. Nothing. He was just thinking, in his little opportunistic pea-brain....hmm, I got this guy who will do free gardening for me and I then I have this woman who is a whiner. Hey, I know! I’ll go with the guy who will do free work for me!
And then I lost my temper. I mean, I never ever yell at anyone. Ever. I’m like a total milquetoast. I tend to keep my anger inside. But man, the day the Garden Hacker called the cops on me, I just totally lost it. I was screaming “Fuck” on his answering machine. I was screaming “Fuck” in person. I think I was actually screaming “fuck” for all the times I never screamed “Fuck” in my entire life. Unfortunately doing that didn’t exactly enamor with anyone in the immediate area. Because although I may occasionally write the word “fuck” in my entries, I don’t really say it in real life. Okay, except in my car, but that’s it. Honest.
So now I have to call this guy. Arghhh! And they will have to fix something obviously. And I don’t want my bathroom to be out of commission for more than a day. And the biggest thing I don’t want is for Garden Hacker to be doing any work in my apartment. None.
Do you hear me?
He has been out of commission lately though. Its been about a month. No obsessive anything. It stopped right after a big snow storm in mid-February. He had been shoveling snow like 14 hours a day, and like I had mentioned, he was shoveling deep into the night....2 a.m....3 a.m. I was annoyed since it was waking me up, but I no longer complain about him to the landlord because my car usually ended up damaged. But then suddenly he just stopped everything. Even shoveling. And we had a lot of snow (about 70” in February). The sidewalks were terrible. Total sheets of ice. But nothing.
So I have been wondering what happened. Had he done something to someone to have been stripped of all his duties as Head Super Supreme Maintenance Superior Excellence of the Universe. I have several theories. Complaints about the late night shoveling. I know people had to have been woken up. I certainly was. Maybe the owner got the heating bill for when nitwit turned the heat up to 87 freakin’ degrees for a whole month. Maybe he did something inappropriate to one of the young women who rent here. I’ve seen him skulking after some of our college girls who rent. Because I really think he’s been a bad puppy. This whole apartment complex is practically emptying out. I think about a quarter of our apartments are empty. My next door neighbor just moved yesterday. He lived up over Garden Hacker. The apartment on the right of Garden Hacker on the first floor is also empty.
So I have temporarily suspended looking for apartments because the sole reason I was looking was because of this guy’s crazy, obsessive, annoying behavior. I mean I have some minor complaints like the crumbling building and rusty water and the fact that my apartment is about the size of Paris Hilton’s shoe closet.
I still have my eye on this apartment that is on the back of an old historic house being renovated down on our main street in the Village. At the moment its all gutted out, but it looks nice and roomy and has a skylight, jutted out windows, a yard (!!!!!) and a small porch. The house its attached to once belonged to a famous suffragette and was used to temporarily house slaves as they made their way to freedom up North. So we’ll see.
Incidentally, last night at my art class, Mr. Can-I-take-You-to-Riverdance Stalker Guy was not waiting for me out in the shadows of the parking lot. Thankfully all my art guys waited out in the parking lot with me while I checked my car and then insisted on staying until I drove away. They are the best.
7 comments so far << | >>
upsy, downsy, upsy, splat! - 2010-05-22
April sours bring May flowers? - 2010-05-01
when finding a head in the recycling bin is the highlight of your month - 2010-03-28
fifty two chances to be awesome...ok maybe - 2010-02-20
its sorta like "Grease" except there's no musical numbers and I'm really old - 2010-02-05