Comments:

Pam - 2005-09-05 14:05:53
Hugs. I understand how you're feeling, and wish there was something I could say to make it better.
-------------------------------
Smed - 2005-09-05 14:12:23
I don't think you'll ever totally get over it. I can't believe that he just up and shut you out for some other woman. I don't ever want to leave my little girls Dad-less, it's too important.
-------------------------------
Smed - 2005-09-05 14:12:52
Oh, and if ever you find yourself in BFE Indiana, I'll make breakfast!
-------------------------------
Andria - 2005-09-05 14:26:03
There's nothing I can say in a situation like this except I'm sorry. I understand having father issues spill over into your own romantic life, since my (real)Dad is alive, and knows where I am, and ignores me. It almost makes me wonder if it's worse to be you - to not know - or to be me - to know where he is, and still be invisible in his eyes. Ugh.

On a lighter note, I am back at Diaryland now, and there are totally NO strippers like you promised. There should be a naked cop or cowboy in my lap right now, lady! :)
-------------------------------
mpeacock - 2005-09-05 14:52:11
You are not alone, more people feel the way you do than you think. If I didn't have S, I would be lost because I could NOT EVER do the dating thing again. I think that is why I put up with some of the shit I do. As far as MY dad, he has chosen my brother who has repeatedly threatened his/my/my son's life AND stolen his credit cards and checks etc. etc. over me. So there will be no more seeing my dad, because that would put me in harms way because my low life brother who wants to kill me, lives with him; mind you, rent free. There are people who would love to just be your friend because you are cool, and fun. too bad we all live so far apart. We all deal (or almost) with the darkness of depression. I am fighting it today. I have gotten a lot better, but only for the past month. I will think happy thoughts for you.
-------------------------------
Xat - 2005-09-05 16:02:46
Witty, I know exactly what you mean. Being a chameleon to please because the one person in whom you placed your trust rejected you...yeah. I know that. It hurts so goddamn much. Like you, I can't understand how people can be so blase (gads, I wish I knew how to make that little accent-y thingy) about how much it hurts and the fear of feeling that hurt again. Power, muh sistah.
-------------------------------
Jennifer - 2005-09-05 16:24:22
Well, like others before me have said, there's nothing that anybody can say to make your unease go away. All i can say is, if you REALLY dont think you can handle another rejection, then I'd seriously think about if you're OK with the prospect of living alone for the rest of your life, so to speak. If the fear of being alone somehow were to outweigh the fear of rejection, then I suppose you'd have your answer. As for the dad thing, we've all got our fuckedupedness I suppose. I'm 31, don't know my real father, met him once when I was 11 and I had to be the one to tell him I wasn't comfortable with him coming back into my life after being 100% absent (not even a call or card for birthdays or holidays) for 10 years. Now, i wonder about if he thinks of me, wonders who I became. Personally, I can't imagine having a child in the world and not knowing who they are. Does this make me any less able to have relationships? Not sure. I've got whatever with Harold, but I know it's not leading to marriage. Then I have to wonder if my fears of marriage stem from my mother marrying 3 times, and my never really having a father in any of them...hard to say. Either way, chin up. Chill with guardcat and listen to the waterfall. Someday, your answer will come to you.
-------------------------------
onewetleg - 2005-09-05 17:11:07
rejection is all there is. and you can handle it. you are alot stronger than you think you are. let's go throw some rocks.
-------------------------------
hissandtell - 2005-09-05 19:45:37
Oh, witty. It was Father's Day here on Sunday and I've been thinking and dreaming about my beautiful Daddy solidly for the past four days and nights. I'm sorry you're feeling so blue, and I'm thinking of you. Love, R xxx
-------------------------------
Kelly - 2005-09-05 19:57:23
jesus. I read the past entry about what happened and besides crying through most of it, how I want to throttle that bitch. I cant believe you've gone through this. It's just an awful, disgusting situation and I'm terribly sorry. You deserved better as well.
-------------------------------
Belle - 2005-09-05 20:14:57
Have you thought about looking at it this way... That the man who rejected you wasn't the same man as your father? Given all you've said about the condition of his physical and mental health, it might help to remember the man you knew as a child as your father. Hard to explain without filling up your comments, but that was my situation. The man after my mother's death was not the same man. For a while I thought, "Well, does that mean everything up until now has been a lie?" But then my wasband said to me, "He's not the man he was. Don't let what happened now take away from all that he did for you and gave you earlier in your life. Those good things made you what you are today." If you'd like to touch base, I believe you have my aohell address with the P-word. Hugs!
-------------------------------
Belle P.S. - 2005-09-05 20:17:57
As for menfolk, well, unless the very next person you meet will be Mr. Happily Ever After, someone will end up rejecting someone at some point. Sounds harsh, but really, no one can say "it all worked out" until the very end of their lives. Until then, nothing is guaranteed. Not even marriage, as I've learned. More hugs!
-------------------------------
GoingLoopy - 2005-09-05 20:19:14
(HUGS FROM ME AND THE FLUFFY HEADS) And I liked what Belle said. He was in bad shape, he was under the influence of someone crazy...he wasn't the same daddy. But you DID have that love at one point, which is more than some people have. Try to hold on to that...that there was a person in your life who loved you exactly as you are. And your Diaryland buddies (at least this one) think you are wonderful too...even if you don't believe it, we'll keep saying it, just in case. :)
-------------------------------
Phil - 2005-09-05 22:19:47
This is just me rambling Witty - I've seen a lot of men get lost in Asia. I call them kampong (village) boys, who have gone native. So do it because they love the local culture, some do it because - as a white man - they are a big fish in a small pond, some do it to hide, and many do it to avoid facing pain/memories.
-------------------------------
Meany - 2005-09-06 05:00:30
I love you, witty!
-------------------------------
Gumphood - 2005-09-06 09:57:16
There is alot there. There is alot in there regarding your father and so many questions to be asked. What I will say is that you and A should be fine through this, because you sound like you have a good understanding of where you had been.
-------------------------------

add your comment:

your name:
your email:
your url:

back to the entry - Diaryland