2003-09-27 @ 7:17 p.m.
worst day nominations are in

1) I fell back to sleep after my alarm went off and nearly missed my shrink appointment. Perhaps that would have been good considering....

2) This was the shrink appointment with the word "penis" uttered the most times ever. I cried from beginning to end. I couldn't even rally with any kitty witticisms. I was completely depleted of any humor. Guess I should go throw in an old "Austin Powers" tape so I can remember what's funny about penises

3) Going into the bathroom at the local marina and witnessing sex in the stall next to me. Ok, it could have been a monumental case of constipation, or someone giving birth to a 33 pound baby, but it sure sounded like sex. Sigh, pant, pant, moan, MOAN, MOOOOOOAAAANNNN! moan. Oh, for God sakes people, get a freakin' room, I'm trying to use the facilities. I was raped in a bathroom. Hearing sounds of that nature, makes me, well....sad.

4) That night, going to the piano bar with my mother, we walk in and who is there? My evil incarnate last landlord. The one who my mother asks me EVERY SINGLE DAY....

She never gave me my rent deposit back. If that's not an uncommon event, let me explain why I think I deserve my measly $400 bucks back

In the time I lived at her apartment, I lived up over domestic violence central. Two crazy alcoholics screaming obscenities and abusing their kids on a daily basis, complete with police intervention. It was like living in a "COPS" episode. There were sewer back ups. No water sometimes. My whole bedroom closet collapsed once (it took almost 10 days to get it fixed).

My other neighbor used to bar-b-cue at 3 a.m. in front of my bedroom window. This lovely gentleman, was also plugged into my electricity for SEVEN months. Yup, I PAID his electricity for 7 months and didn't even know it. I discovered it quite by accident when my bills started going sky high in the summer. Ya see, he got a little greedy, he was running 2 air conditioners 24 hours a day all summer and I was paying for it. The only problem? I was on disability. He was cruising around in a big fancy ass black SUV with silver running boards. Wasn't that nice of me? And he didn't even offer me a burger through my bedroom window at 3 a.m., the dirty bastard.

And then in the winter, the slumlordess decided to rip the roof off my apartment. And I live in an arctic-like area. And it was December. Anyways, my window got smashed. Couldn't get her to fix it. She put a board over it, which didn't quite cover the window. She said it was a "special" window with "special" glass. It had "gas" between the glass. Had to be special ordered from Jupiter or something. Lady...my stepfather was in construction. That glass is called double paned and you can buy it at any Home Depot store in about five freakin' minutes. So on day six it finally got fixed.

Day 7 I get home from Christmas tree chopping with Married Guy. Gee its cold in here. I look up in my bedroom. Huge gaping 12X15" hole in my bedroom ceiling. I think one of the roofers had partially fallen through my ceiling or something. Called her over at 10:30 at night. She vacuumed up all the insulation and had a neighbor kid (not the child abusers or the power thief, but a different person) come over and taped a piece of cardboard over the hole. I thought it was going to be for that night only. Well, days turned into weeks. I never slept in my bedroom again. My apartment was freezing. I was sick from inhaling the insulation. I knew my electric bill was going to be massive. Right before Christmas she left a note on my door, "Since I know you'll probably be moving by New Years, I'm going to start showing the apartment." I was like WTF. I hadn't given her notice. I didn't have the money to move that fast. I was so frazzled, I called Married Guy, who's a landlord. He said she was trying to strong arm me out, but to take my time, because I had rights.

But mentally speaking I was ready to blast out of there like yesterday, so I sent her a 30 day notice on Dec. 21. Actually I played right into her greedy ass hands. Breaking my lease. My lease ended at the end of February. I was leaving mid-January. I was desperate to get out of there though. It was cold. I could see my breathe in my bedroom. She had stopped caring for the snow and ice on my stairs. I had already fallen on her property when I first moved there, because it was so poorly maintained. So I moved. Moved into that total shithole Mold Palace place. I wasn't thinking clearly when I did that either. Its funny what stress will do to you. And my refund was never forthcoming. My mother tried to talk to her. My brother, Guido-Obnoxious, tried to talk to her, but she fled to Florida and had her son give us the bad news. No deposit. And then recently my shrink talked to her and asked her for it and said that I intended to take her to court. She said fine and said if I presented myself as a "victim" she would fight it.

So what would I call myself. A good sport? Yeah, I pitched in and helped pay my neighbor's excessively large electric bill. Yeah, I didn't call the cops when the boozer-loser downstairs was saying sexually suggestive things to his girlfriend's 10 year old girl on the front porch. Yeah, I didn't sue your wrinkly white ass when I bruised my tailbone after falling on the ice at the bottom of your ill-maintained cement stairs. We won't even talk about the property that was either stolen or destroyed. Or the surgery I had to go through to get the piece of glass out of my finger from the broken window.

So seeing her at this frou frou piano bar last night, was the topper of a not-so-good day. And what was worse, was not only seeing her, but the fact that she was at a birthday party one table over and got up at one point and sang a stupid freakin song with a trio of ladies in front of me. She was wearing large pink glasses and a purple feather boa. Talk about rubbing my face in it.

And what was weird is, that she walked in from the deck of the restaurant earlier in the evening, she saw me and momentarily looked like she was going to walk over and say "hiya!" then remembered, "oh shit, that woman wants to sue my ass" and diverted at the last moment. I'm sure my blood pressure spurted up about 50 points the moment I saw her. I have hated and despised that woman for the last nine months -- almost every single day. And then to be stuck in a restaurant for several hours with her, seeing her cavort around with a freakin' purple boa trailing behind her.

I, of course, did a running commentary, about her for my Mom and some of the other women at the table the whole evening. They know the story and were impressed with my Don Rickle'esque putdowns. Thoughts of tripping her when she walked by, coughing and saying "bitch" at the same time, and bitch-slapping her in the bathroom, but alas, we are talking about me after all....a major league wimp. And nothing transpired. I let her off the hook, YET AGAIN. And today, for about the 237th day in a row, my mother called and asked me if I was going to sue Pat.

Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty