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2003-10-20 @ 8:44 p.m.
I want to be a media slut for Halloween

Anyone ever dye their hair and think, wow my eyebrows are looking a little gray, and I think maybe I should dab a little hair dye on them. And then when you look in the mirror twenty minutes later, just before rinse your hair, you realize that the eyebrow hair dye has adhered to your facial area in large irregular blobs and suddenly you look like Eddie Munster?

Me: Scanning the room for

Damn, now I feel really stupid.

I was talking to my friend down in Manhattan last night. He keeps popping up on my instant message screen asking me what I'm going to be for Halloween. He's gay and loves Halloween. We spent many a Happy Halloween together being weird over the years. He works in theatre now, so he gets to play make believe everyday.

I originally said I wanted to go as a bipolar, menopausal woman, which is about as scary of a persona that I could think of.

But last night we were revamping our costumes. He got really bold. He said he wanted to go as a Democrat. Ha. Ha. Ha. My dear friend is about as Righty as you can possibly be, without falling off the East Coast.

He then thought it might be fun to be the tree that a certain rock star smashed into. I said I could go as the car. No.

He then said he was thinking of something totally unique. He thought he might sit in a chair, hunched over and shake. I was like who's that? "The Pope". And then I said, "Oh, I thought it was Rush Limbaugh waiting for a Vicodan."

Yeah, I'm fairly certain we will both be going straight to hell shortly ... blaspheming the Pope with Rush Limbaugh's name and all.

Don't you just love those media sluts though? I read today that Pamela Anderson was going to do a topless radio show. Well, that's original. As long as you're shedding things, why not try the microphone sweetie? The Marcel Marceau Radio Hour. She'll probably be humping the damn thing anyways. Gee, I miss Tommy Lee.

I think we should get all the media sluts together -- Britney, Madonna, J-Lo and Ben (or Bennifer as the media has been calling them. What is a Bennifer? And is there a cure for it?). Oh, back to getting the media sluts together. Anyways, we should put them all in a Big Brother house. Put cameras on them 24 hours a day for about 40 days, and show the public just how truly unremarkable these people are. Maybe that would cure us of our obsession and the media's obsession once and for all.

For me though, this week has been all about Mother Theresa. Go M.T.! We all want sainthood for you baby. Helping the poor is a cool thing!

Hey! I think I may have just come up with another costume idea for my friend in Manhattan...

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty