2003-11-18 @ 1:03 p.m.
penispenispenispenispenispenis

So it was my first trip to my Tuesday shrink since my adventure with the Nude Art Guy. Incidentally, I definitely have to come up with a better name for the Tuesday guy. He's so deserving. I'll have to think about it. Maybe something like Ghandi-Shrink or Mother Theresa-Shrink.

I was really nervous going in. I can talk to him about absolutely anything, even though I still blush and stammer. I try to be cool about it, but my heart does race. Even though I know he's used to hearing about sex.

Job description: Listen to people bitch and moan about their mothers, brothers, bosses, fathers, sisters, Married Guys, voices in their heads, cats who disobey them by pooping in the African violets...and oh yes, women who want to tell you in detail about how much they masturbated last Friday afternoon. BINGO!

Hey, you have to have some benefits. You can't expect to eat cold lumpy gruel 40 hours a week and not hope for a nice hot fudge sundae with bananas and nuts, if you'll excuse the slightly sexual reference.

Of course it does take me a while to be able to say the word masturbate. It usually initially comes out "snfgs fgdts shcnd'smm ywpenz!" and then I'll kind of nod my head slightly and look towards the window and blush a little. But he's really the only person I have to talk to about this...I mean besides the vast universe of the Internet. Today I was actually a little more specific, "Oh, I burned a lot of calories last Friday afternoon..." And then I tried to tell him how great it was, but all I could come up with was something akin to "awesome, dude". I later thought of "I was so hot, my eyebrows burned off", but then that kind of presented a weird image. Wittykitty with no whiskers.

So I also told him about the drawing class and the cute men-folk who populated it. He asked if I checked for wedding bands and the answer was, of course, affirmative. And then there was the Gay question. Are they gay? Like how am I supposed to know that? Isn't it obvious my "gay-dar" has been jammed since the 80's?

I even ended up showing him my nude guy sketches. I was extremely nervous about that. On several levels. 1) The penis is blazingly presented in every drawing except one. 2) I'm very insecure about my art ability, will he like it? 3) This is really embarrassing, but this is important, but this is really embarrassing.

He also did something totally magnanimous. He offered to pay for another art class. Well, not offered, he actually stuffed the money into my hand.

I naturally didn't want to take it, although God knows I could use an art sponsor, but I finally did.

Art does makes me happy and I do want to go to the class again. Hmm. Guess I'll be drawing naked people again tomorrow. Yippee!

I also talked about my art class experience with my support group last night. The group was very small. Just 4 of us. The group leader had actually been in the lobby of the community center last Wednesday when I came out of the class and knew I had been up there drawing weenies, so she was all excited to have me share it with the group.

So I talked about it. I didn't say anything about the masturbating frenzy that had been going on over next to the dental building, but I did tell about how much freer I had been feeling since then. One woman commented that she thought I looked 10 years younger. The other one likened me to a super hero.

Penis-Girl, I guess, with a large "P" emblazoned on my chest. Able to leap tall testicles in a single bound. But they were also very supportive of my adventures in art.

As for my ever lovely shrink...well I really have to think of a new name for him...hmm. Well since Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery is already taken, lets just call him the King of all that is Nice for now.

Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty