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2004-01-01 @ 9:54 a.m.
2004 - 365 more chances to fuck up

So 2004...365 new days to fuck up. That really wasn't meant to sound cynical. It's just a fact, folks. A clean slate with new opportunities to make mistakes. Simple as that!

How many e-mails am I going to get this year that say viagra or penis enlargement? How many Michael Jackson magazine covers am I going to see proclaiming his innocence? How many more inane reality shows is Fox going to cook up? When are we finally going to see "Lesbian Eye for the Straight Girl?"

I did get a huge whopping raise on my social security for 2004. $9. Went from $731/mo. to $740/mo. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with all this extra a CD account? Plan a trip to Cancun? Buy a Volvo?

Of course once the food stamp department gets wind of my financial windfall, they'll swoop in and slash my monthly amount. They did that last year. I had gotten like a $12 raise in my SS amount and then they cut my food stamps by like $10. So boy that extra $2 a month...let me tell you...really had me living high. Joined the yacht club...finally. Jetted off to the Islands with Paris Hilton. Bought some $300 underwear, which I wore once and then sent to Goodwill. It was fuckin' great!

Last night was fun though. Me. A psychotic cat. A dog with bad breathe. A DVD player. And two of the most boring movies made in the last 10 years.

I'm usually really good at picking movies since I once made a living as an entertainment writer, but my choices really sucked. "Tadpole" was about a college age boy obsessed with older women (hey it sounded like a great theme to me) and "The Sunshine State", a character-driven film by film maker John Sayles.

"Tadpole" was so boring that I actually shut it off right after the first sex scene with Bebe Newirth (Lillith in "Frasier").

The other film was okay, but it was lengthy with mostly dialogue. They did more talking than showing, which in my screenwriting class, had always been discouraged.

When I turned off the second movie it was 11:50 p.m. so I turned it over to the Time Square thing. I had it on the Jay Leno network but there was this supremely annoying comedian on there testing the foods of New York. At first I actually wasn't sure if it was a man or woman or Rosie O'Donnell with a new haircut. I have several gay male friends, and this guy was an absolute embarrassment to all of them. After the food segment, they switched live to this he/she on top of a building overlooking Time Square and I half expected him to start sprinkling fairydust over the crowd at midnight.

Its great that network television is finally embracing gay men (via the "Queer Eye for the Straight Man"), but do you have to put on this prancing fruitcake and erase any possible goodwill that the QE guys might have generated? God I hope that guy's mother doesn't read this but honestly, I had to turn the channel to watch the falling of the 2004 ball, because it was so annoying. Sigh.

So do we all know the 2004 ball is made of Waterford crystal everyone?? Yeah, I think they said it about 132 times in 3 minutes. Of course if you were drunk, you probably only heard it maybe 3 times, so I guess that was a good marketing strategy.

I went and got the cordless phone thinking my mom would call me at midnight, but she didn't, so...


I usually feel incredibly depressed when that damn ball falls because I am always alone. I think only once in the last 20 years I was with someone and that was in San Francisco with my gay friend and we were at the Stage Door Deli on Geary. He had brought confetti in his backpack and we threw it at midnight much to the chagrin of the deli owners.

But this year I was incredibly angst-free. Not sure why. My future doesn't look all that bright. Another year of poverty. My mom's health isn't so great and I could possibly lose her. And how much longer will I latch onto Married Guy? Hmmm.

Like I said....2004....365 more chances to fuck up. Yay!

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty