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2004-01-08 @ 1:57 p.m.
the secret of M.E.G.s

I just looked down at my nails and they are so dirty. Now before you think I'm dirty, which I'm not, I just have to say, I'm dirty in the name of ART.

I just finally started back to my figure drawing class last night, and as usual I got almost as much pastel dust on the paper, as myself. I'm not a passive artist. I don't delicately press a pencil to paper and draw a single line. I'm usually a total mess when I'm done. I first draw the image with a charcoal pencil and then go over it with pastels and then smear the pastels with my fingers...and elbows and sometimes even my eyebrows get into the act.

I vaguely remember seeing Farrah Fawcett doing a Playboy video somewhere where she painted a canvas with some naughty part her body and I could see how that might be kinda fun. Because when I work, I put my whole self into it. Last night I was rubbing the paper so hard, to make shadows on the nude, that I almost thought I was going to ignite sparks, and I actually felt shaky (i.e., exhilarated).

I think its called passion.

I also think its called...I-need-a-love- life.

So I finally got to hook up with the artbook guy again. We actually caught up with each other in the darkened cloakroom. He has green eyes. OOoo la la!

And he actually remembered my name. He said, hello witty. I almost fainted. Invisible girls don't usually get remembered. I said hello shyly and then slid by him really closely.

We talked several times during the evening, and on the last pose of the night, I was in a really bad position to see the model (who looked like a Goth Calista Flockhart -- very, very skinnnnnnny). All I could see was the crown of her head. So I very efficiently moved my drawing desk, right smack dab next to his.

Bold a'la extraordinaire, ey?

He looked at me and smiled slightly. I, of course, was totally intimidated, when I drew. He's really good. I'm really mediocre. But I went for it anyways..slithering seductively on the desk top...licking the canvas with my tongue.... if...

Folks, I think the guy may be gay. Sorry, "A". I know you had such hope for this one, but I think he may have a queer eye for the straight guy. Damn. Well, I tried.

But the class was definitely man-heavy last night. About 15 men, and 2 women. My first "love" interest from the first weeks did suddenly re-appear. The one who looked like Robert Downey Jr. And we did the 1.2 second MEG (meaningful emotional glance). The I missed you...I think we're perfect for each other...are you gay...lets have coffee..are you a serial killer...why aren't we're really adorable glance. You know the one. We all do them.

I did a couple of OK sketches. When I left the class, mother nature had dumped 5 1/2 inches of snow on my car in a mere 3 hours. I couldn't believe it. Fortunately, my housesitting location is only a couple of blocks away, so I just slipped and slid my way home. I did nearly get rear-ended by some assholes who were speeding and then purposely slamming on their brakes so they could spin around.

Whee, aren't we fucking idiots? I saw them twice on the way home. They were yelling out of their car windows (despite the fact that the wind chill factor was around zero degrees), so I called the cops when I got home. No need for assholes with 12,000 pounds of steel endangering the lives of others.

I may be a crazy artist, but at least I respect life.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty