blackbird.jpg (30437 bytes)

2004-02-17 @ 4:04 p.m.
cul-de-sac orgasms

Ha HA! If you walk 2 miles, you burn 212 calories which is approximately the same amount of calories you burn when you have sex.

Ha HA! So if you read my last entry, you'll see that I just rose up out of my bed like Lazarus, ignored the bus, walked 4 miles round trip to the store and bank, and realize, if you look at it in sexual terms, that I just "got lucky" twice in the last 2 hours.

Yeah, Baby!

And I also burned 424 calories. And I also feel so much better.

And even though I was out having what I'll now term street walking sex, I tried not to look like I was having too good of a time. There was no cul-de-sac orgasms or driveway pleasure screaming. In other words, I tried not to look like a perv.

And there was even an element of S&M. I was walking along a very busy thoroughfare, and there was no space between me and the hurtling SUVs. Why? Because there was a wall of ice right next to the road, so I was actually walking in the street, thus putting me in harm's way, making things a little dangerous. Kinda S&Mish. And my heart was pounding. And I think I might have burned off a few extra calories with sheer fear.

But it was hot I tell you. Street walking sex. And yet you didn't need condoms. But you got the full calorie burning benefits! Groovy.

And the funniest thing. Just about as I was hitting my street I happened to see my Postman. And boy did he look happy. His hair was all fluffed up. His face was extremely flushed. He looked like he had just done some "Calorie burning" of his own too. Wink, wink!

So maybe that's the secret to the winter blahs. Taking it to the streets. Burning those calories the street walking sex way. Now if only I could get Married Guy to massage my sore thighs. That would be kismet.

0 comments so far << | >>

Older Entries
upsy, downsy, upsy, splat! - 2010-05-22
April sours bring May flowers? - 2010-05-01
when finding a head in the recycling bin is the highlight of your month - 2010-03-28
fifty two chances to be awesome...ok maybe - 2010-02-20
its sorta like "Grease" except there's no musical numbers and I'm really old - 2010-02-05


Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty