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2004-02-23 @ 3:24 p.m.
wanna see my coatimundi?

I'm afraid my image on Diaryland is somewhat tarnished. I probably come across as totally angry, oversexed, depressed, sarcastic, a husband stealer, Democratic and other such distasteful things.

It's true that I'm all of those to a degree, although most of them are circumstantial. (Hey, give me a million bucks and most of them, like the anger and depression will go away. Oh, and I'll probably "turn" Republican too, if I get large sums of money into my bank account.

But there's really more to me. I'm extremely soft hearted when it comes to animals. I'd probably run across a 12 lane super highway to rescue a stray dog. I usually melt into puddles of gooeyness at the sight of a cute baby animal. And I'm an adult who goes to the zoo about 6 times a year to just gaze at animals and say, "Hi tiger, tiger! Hi foxy, hi foxy!" (its really embarrassing, because I actually do this).

I like almost every animal in the entire zoo, especially lemurs. God they are cute. If I ever get rich I'll probably open a Lemur-a-Go-Go or something. About the only animal I might leave out would be monkeys and tarantulas. I don't particularly like them for some reason.

I actually grew up with monkeys if you can believe that. Well, maybe you can. See, here I am, as a toddler. My mom used to love to show everyone this picture and say "Which one is the monkey?" ha ha ha!!!!


So, why pray tell, did we have monkeys? What? Didn't everyone have monkeys? I thought they did.

My Dad was an airline pilot and we lived in the south and he used to fly down to South America and bring them back for zoos or private buyers. This was long before there were any kind of regulations concerning the importation of wild life, so they would probably throw on a few extra monkeys in the plane and my Dad would just bring one home. And then it would bite me a few times and then we would get rid of it. We were such good monkey consumers.

This little guy in the picture (if you look very closely, he's sitting on my mother's shoulder) was named George. Not sure if he was Curious or not, but he was probably wondering why my mother was such a bitch and my Dad drank so much.

We also had a coatimundi once, which was kind of a cross between an anteater and a raccoon. Ha! Ha! I bet I won Show and Tell THAT WEEK!! A freakin' coatimundi!! We also had the usual snakes, geckos, toads, frogs, turtles, fish, hamsters, salamanders, alligators (yeah, we had a baby alligator. It chomped down on the end of my brother's nose and wouldn't let go --ah the good old days!!), and of course, cats, dogs, and a bunny named Cleopatra.

I always took solace in our pets. I loved them and they loved me. And it was always unconditional. Even our coatimundi used to put his cold, wet nose on me, and look up at me with those incredibly dark beady eyes that would scare Tammy Faye Bakker. But I knew it loved me, in its own coatimundi kind of way.

So, if you ever want to find the way to my heart, chocolates would be nice, but remember, giving me a member of the animal kingdom would definitely get a thumbs up from this animal lover.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty