blackbird.jpg (30437 bytes)

2004-03-01 @ 4:51 p.m.
no time for hobbits

Ha. ha. ha. I had 12 readers on MY February 30th diaryland stats! Neener, neener, neener! Oh wait....there's no such thing as FEBRUARY 30TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, maybe there is. Its the day I won the lottery. And slept with Johnny Depp. And won the Nobel Peace Prize. And got nominated for an Academy Award against the Lord of the Rings AND ACTUALLY BEAT THOSE BLOOD NEW ZEALANDERS!

"....And the winner for The Best Short Animated Film with No Hobbits or Gay Wizards...."Lord of the Rings, Return of the Kings."

That bloody film could not lose last night, could it? I may be the only person in the Eastern Hemisphere that hasn't seen it. Sorry. And I haven't read the books either. I remember trying to around 1969, when I was about 11, but it was like ....BRAIN FREEZE...this is too hard, I need something easy, so I'd go back to my dog eared copy of "Harriet the Spy".

THAT was my favorite book. A book about a weird misfit girl who would run around writing observations about people into a ragged little notebook.

Hmmm. Sound like anyone you might know?

I actually had my own Harriet the Spy route I took every day after school. And yes, I carried a little notebook and pencil with me too. I guess I might have just been a writer in training.

I lived in the Dominican area of San Rafael California. It was a nice area full of fancy houses and some very oddball neighbors. And I'm not exaggerating.

Up on the hill above us, where I used to wait to be picked up for Catholic School, was a well known porno film maker. I'm not positive, but I believe it was Russ Meyers. Don't quote me on that now. You couldn't see his house because it was surrounded by eucalyptus trees, but we knew he was up there somewhere. Him and the naked girls. And the drugs. It was the late 60's after all.

Down the street from where I lived was what I called The Haunted House. It was this big old dilapidated house that looked to be abandoned. I was absolutely fascinated with this place. It was like a Steven King house. And it had a path along side of the property and I used to walk up and down the side of this place and peer into the overgrown yard every single day, trying to see if I could see any activity in the windows. But nothing.

One day I was standing in front of the house, just staring at it. Suddenly I saw this old woman briefly step in front of one of the windows upstairs. Oh my God, my heart just started racing. I was actually with one of my girlfriends that day, Sandy. We were both about 10 or 11. We were a ghost? That's a ghost. We just saw a ghost!!!

And then for the first time ever, an old car drove up. We were so shocked. I had NEVER seen any activity there before. And suddenly this old careworn woman got out with some groceries. We were somewhat excited about seeing her. And we were also very anxious to find out about the "ghost" up in the window, so we offered to carry her groceries into the house for her. We then asked if she lived there with her mother. She looked at us oddly.

"Nobody lives there. Nobody lives there, except me."

My friend and I just looked at each other. ARGHHHHHH! Ghosts!!!!!! The old lady then told us we should just go home. And to stop looking at her house. (I guess she had seen us before).

But probably the most unique neighbor I had, and definitely the best fodder for Harriet the Spy II, was the guy who lived directly across the street. Our street was rather hilly, so his house, which was Spanish style and had a steep driveway, cast a deep shadow over our front yard most of the day. He was a psychiatrist. And he ran his practice out of his house. And that was Marin County in the 1960's. As in Groovy Baby...

Now this guy looked like one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie. He was slightly overweight, bald and, well, lets just say

Ok, so I'm out in my front yard one morning. I'm about 10 or 11. I'm Harriet the Spy ya know. I'm either watering the plants or writing in my journal, and I look up to la' Spanish Casa de la'Shrink, and the Baldy Shrink was out watering his yard.

Hey, its California. It's summer. The plants are probably a little thirsty. It's morning time. He has his robe on. It's fine to water your yard in your the your your....what the fuck????

The guy turns around to water his petunias or whatever, and the whole back of the robe is completely cut in missing. As in his naked ass is just completely hanging out there, soaking up the California sunlight. Like right the fuck in front of me.


I couldn't believe it. I think I probably ran in my house and told my mom. But by time she came out, he had gone into the house. She then went up to his door but he wouldn't answer. Amazingly, she didn't call the police for some reason. I guess she thought she could handle it. And to be honest I can't remember the outcome. But the perv actually did it a second time too. But this time my mom wasn't home so I just went for one of my Harriet the Spy walks. Its no wonder I could ever trust a shrink again, huh?

But we did have a couple of nice neighbors. We lived next to a couple from Texas. Their house looked like a medieval castle from the outside. I was always fascinated with their house. And the house we lived in was pretty unique. We had a round fireplace. And a cool 1960 light fixture that looked like a satellite. And a deck that overlooked the Dominican nunnery.

I also used to spy on the nuns on a daily basis. One of my friends had told me they had a special wing at the nunnery where they kept pregnant nuns and that they also had a secret cemetery out on the grounds somewhere where they had buried the illegitimate babies born of the priests and nuns. I looked for that for over a year, but never really found anything too convincing.

So, you can see, I had a very busy route, as Harriet the Spy. I just didn't have time for Hobbits.

0 comments so far << | >>

Older Entries
upsy, downsy, upsy, splat! - 2010-05-22
April sours bring May flowers? - 2010-05-01
when finding a head in the recycling bin is the highlight of your month - 2010-03-28
fifty two chances to be awesome...ok maybe - 2010-02-20
its sorta like "Grease" except there's no musical numbers and I'm really old - 2010-02-05


Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty