2004-03-18 @ 1:47 p.m.
cute naked ass survey

It seems that one of my most kind readers, Autumnleigh, pointed out the fact that my St. Patrick's day extravaganza picture of cement leprechauns yesterday, may possibly have sexual overtones to it. As in, it appears that the wee men, may be yanking at their shamrocks...if you know what I mean (wink, wink).

Oh my goodness (blush, blush). How alarming! But she's RIGHT!!! Look at those little bad boys! How did I miss that? Either my naughty meter needs batteries or there was a major slip up by the photo editor at the wittykitty website. Oh well!

Heh, heh! Good catch, Autumn. Not that I've ever known an Irish guy who yanked his shamrocks personally or anything.

But speaking of shamrocks (were we?), last night was my nude figure drawing class. And it was a guy! FINALLY!! Again.

We've only had three guys in the three months I've been going, and I was good and ready to wrap my pastels around some of their Lucky Charms.

If they were casting for a vampire movie, this guy would definitely be up for a callback. Tall, very pale, jet black hair, black piercing eyes. And the lovely manhandle was a sight to behold. Yet its still something I have a little trouble looking at.

But as my shrink "A" might say...Make friends with the penis. Penises are nice. Hi Mr. Penis!

I am still, however, always a little taken aback, when Mr. P is first unveiled. I sit very close to the model. Front row. And when your field of vision is suddenly nothing but penises and nakedness, its like yowza!

You're in a room full of artists. You're trying to act nonchalant. Ha, ha...there's a penis. And then you drop your case of pastels on the floor, and they scatter all over creation, breaking at least half of them. Good job, witty. And then you fumble some more and bump your elbow on the desk, and almost fall out of your chair, as you attempt to gather up the broken pieces of...

YOUR FUCKING DIGNITY.

Even Johnson, the guy who leads the class, who stands right behind me at an easel, asked if I was ok. Yup. Peachy. Just having a little penis angst here.

Not sure what my problem was. Ok, I do know what it was.

There was a major distraction on the other side of the room. There was a guy sitting there, who had never attended class before. He looked like Johhny freakin' Depp. OMG. He had the "Secret Window" Johnny look. That is to say, the angsty, nerdy, yet devastatingly sexy Johnny look.

I guess having him and a penis in close proximity of each other sort of made me a nervous wreck. I think my heart was actually beating too fast for proper blood distribution.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending at how you look at it, the male model mainly faced away from me most of the night. I got one good sketch of the much angstifying penis, and then about 4 sketches of his lovely round ass.

Boy, that is really something I've noticed from our three male models so far. Incredibly cute, round asses! Just like little cupcakes or something. Why do guys have such cute asses? How did that happen? None of the females have had especially memorable bums.

So I was thinking that maybe I could do

a Cute Naked Ass Survey on my next bus ride. It'll be very scientific. I just want to see how high the percentage is of cute naked asses that are actually possessed by an average group of men.

Everybody ready?

I am so freakin' excited. Do you really think the guys on the bus will fall for this? Me wanting to prove my theory of cute naked assedness? Or should I just remain gloriously ignorant and believe that we have the best damn asses in the world at our little art class.

Hmm, well I think its safe to say, at least one of those choices will keep me out of freakin' jail.

Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty