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2004-03-29 @ 9:17 p.m.
some rockin' good anger management

Holy shitsky, I just realized that I did three entries yesterday. Watch out: Manic girl on the loose. I've actually got several new medications from my latest visit to the doctor. And I'm just vaguely aware of what they're for. One is for acne on my shoulder. One is for pain. And since I just got sick, I restarted some amoxicillan I had lying around from January.

Do I have any kind of schedule taking them? Nope. I just kind of wander near the microwave, sniffling and coughing and think, hey, its about time for an antibiotic, and hey why not take that acne med while I'm at it. And gee I'm feeling really uptight about now so why not scarf a clonopin. And then I'll head towards the bathroom and snort some Flonase.

Yes, I know, if Nancy Reagan were here, she'd be saying just say NO, wittykitty, just say no.

I guess I'm not feeling well and I have no idea how to make myself feel better. I don't feel much like eating. My tongue feels parched. The amoxicillan is making me feel nauseous. I've already torn through a half a box of Kleenex. My cat runs and hides everytime I sneeze, because I don't sneeze cute and dainty. I sneeze like a car backfiring into a karaoke microphone.

It was an absolutely stunning day today though. Spring-like. Sunny. Probably around 70, which in these parts, hasn't been seen since last October. I really wanted to drive over to the lake and just wander aimlessly along the shore, but once I got started I realized how fatigued I was.

I did hit my favorite bank though. You know the one that didn't think I had enough money to cover a twenty dollar check last week. Well, I got a new surprise today.

I dressed a little nicer. Had on my salmon colored Jersey Shore tee-shirt. Actually brushed my hair. Tried to look like an upstanding citizen this time. I brought in a check from my insurance company. It was for the mileage I had incurred while driving to Married Guys for my massages from my whiplash case.

The check was for $21.75. I was just going to cash it and put it towards my electric bill. But is anything ever simple for wittykitty?

Nope. After signing the little beauty and sliding it towards the teller, she informed me that they couldn't cash a check from an insurance company. I was like, huh?

Bank: Because they might renege on the check and the bank would lose money. But we would be happy to deposit it for you.

ME: Slowly turning a deep angry purple and blowing steam out of my ear. Well allrighty then (under my breath....bitch). Just deposit it then.

So I made out the deposit slip for the stupid $21.75. And I felt kind of dumb because I never put any money INTO my bank account. I don't even know how to fill out a deposit slip. My social security is direct deposited. And then suddenly I was struck with a moment of divine inspiration. I turned to the teller and said, "Well, can I deposit $.02 and get the rest back in cash?" heh, heh...


So I finally gave her the deposit slip and she gave me back the receipt and then turned to her fellow teller and started yacking away. And I was like what the hell. I came into this financial institution to get me some money. Ya think ya might take a little looky loo back in my di-rec-tion...ya know, just in case I might possibly want write a fucking check for $21.75????

Nope. She was just happily chatting with the teller in the next station, so I finally just stomped out to the ATM machine in front of the bank and made sure I coughed all over it about 50 times.

Nothing like good customer service to keep me coming back week after week.

I then took Alf's rustmobile to the car wash and quickly realized you can't wash rust off. Although I did accidentally spray off the Mustang logo on the back trunk. Whoops. Heh, heh. The car did stall three times as I was pulling out of the car wash. I guess the shock of being washed was just too much for the Alfmobile.

Went to my support group. Really needed it too. Have been in a deep funk. It was a small group today. Only two of us and the leader, so we had a lot of time to talk which was good.

I have a problem with too much anger and my friend has a problem with not being able to access hers.

I came up with a grand idea of going down to an old rock quarry behind my brother's house and throwing rocks into a lake and just yelling and screaming for a while. I even got more creative and said we should write names on the rocks, of people we're mad at and then just slam those little bastards into the water while screaming. I thought it was a great idea and literally wanted to go right after the group, but I think I might have frightened my friend.

Whose names would be on my rocks?

My mom.

My sexual abuser.

The Filipino Mail Order Whore.



Married Guy (at least this week).

Its funny, but I've actually been hurt worst by women than by men. I mean, the damage done by the men has been hurtful. But the damage done by the women has been substantially worse. Or at least it seems that way. I guess with the possible exception of the guy who sexually abused me as a kid. That did have a long reaching affect.

So rocks down at the quarry. The printing of names on them. Lots of yelling and screaming. Sounds like a pretty safe way to deal with anger if you ask me. I really wish my friend would reconsider.

Than I wouldn't feel like punching out the bitch down at the bank who won't cash a check for $21.75.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty