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2004-04-15 @ 3:30 p.m.
swordus erectus

So we be drawing naked men once again. My goodness, kinda looks like he's dreaming of something kinda nice, huh? He was really just lying on top of some pillows in the middle of the second floor of the community center where I take my figure drawing class.

I guess I must have transferred all my sexual longings to my drawings. I'm also very influenced by the music Johnson plays while we draw for three hours. Very influenced.

This guy is named Vinnie and we had him once right before Christmas, and he is a real card. Very theatrical with a penchant for leather chaps and various other leather strappie things and chains and large phallic shaped pieces of wood.

In December he had come dressed like a cowboy, with a cowboy hat, the aforementioned leather chaps, pointy-toed boots, lassos (Yeah, I know you're getting all excited, Hiss and Tell, now just calm down missy). But that night he had been extremely animated (cough)strung-out on something, talking a mile a minute, laughing, singing along with Bessie Smith tapes that were playing, getting even more loopy at our break because we had alcohol that night because it was our Christmas party. And he even touched himself an awful lot, although I think it was an unconscious thing.

So he was back last night. This time instead of "being a Cowboy", he was some kind of African War-Lord/Magician/Sourcerer, bringing along a bunch of fancy swords carved with ivory handles, a book of Magick, some big rusted heavy chains, a heavy chunk of driftwood, and he was wearing some sort of white turban wrapped around his head. It was sort of a mixed metaphor, so I wasn't really sure WHAT he was supposed to be. Maybe a kind of S&M Aladdin.

But he did strike some very dramatic poses with his swords and his chaps... zipped, partially zipped, unzipped, all with his lovely manhandle, which was very significant ladies, on prominent display.

(me...resting from all the excitement...for a moment...ok....better now)

Anyways, during the break I snagged my usual take of cookies and ginger ale and who do I meet at the snack table but Obi Manhandle Extraordinaire Ka Nobi. Yikes! Where do I look? I mean he had put on an African caftan by now, but I still knew what wonders lie beneath. He nicely offered to pour me some ginger ale and naturally I dropped the cup, and then stuttered something about not recognizing this latest incarnation of him, from his last appearance as Cowboy Bob. He laughed.

I am the Witty Kitty...stammer, stammer.

We talked for a moment, but I was so freakin' nervous, that I kept trying to step backwards into a solid wall and disappear into another dimension. He was nice though and smiled alot and he was with a woman this time, who seemed to have some kind of control over him (his Dominatrix?), so he was not quite so manicky and theatrical.

Also unfortunately, earlier in the evening, some newcomer in the group had complained that he had come for FIGURE DRAWING not COSTUME DRAWING, so Johnson had finally asked our theatrical model to do away with the chaps and cowboy boots. His one concession was holding onto some of the swords and one his last poses included laying on his back with a large sword laying directly over his penis lengthwise.

And I was like Eek! Hope that puppy isn't too sharp my friend. And then when the pose was over, the model lifted it vertically erect, and I was like OHHHHH!

Yeah, I was probably the only person in the entire room to notice that, besides him. And I knew that he did that on purpose since its obvious he's very sexual by the way he poses. So it was not lost on me. Mr. Swordus Erectus. Yup, got it. Thanks for the most uplifting event in my otherwise boring day.

So today has been pretty uneventful. Did laundry. Walked around in the little hippy dippy part of town while my dainties were soaking, in search of possible new bumper sticker for my "new" car which I think I will be getting tomorrow.

Saw a couple of good ones. "My family is more dysfunctional than yours." Yeah, I could really see putting that on a car I buy from my mother. Heh, heh. True or not I'm sure that would mean a trip straight to hell, but, oh well, I already live there. Its called Medicaid and food pantries.

Also saw a bunch of ones regarding the word Goddess, which were cute. My favorite one was "FG - I'm the fkn'g goddess of the universe. Any questions?" My Catholic Eye-talian landlords would love that. They would probably have to say a rosary and do a novena every time I pulled up in the driveway though.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty