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2004-04-22 @ 10:50 a.m.
starving artist makes a simple request

So I just got home from my once a month food pantry place. It's not quite as glamorous and well stocked as my last place. My last place you were able to take a shopping cart and walk around and select things you wanted and needed. And they also had things you couldn't buy with food stamps like toilet paper and paper towels and soap and occasionally cat food.

But this place just gives you a bag of groceries they pick. Stuff I don't necessarily like or need. Like I'm currently accruing a large collection of fruit cocktail in heavy syrup. Sorry. I don't eat that. And peach halves in heavy syrup. I don't eat that either. I'm a borderline diabetic.

Last month they gave me some frozen hot-dogs, that had expired in October. It was March. Do I eat them because they were frozen? How do I know when they were frozen? Maybe they were just frozen yesterday.

Today I got some frozen chicken patties. There is no date on them. That makes me a little nervous. Are they frozen in the same manner as Austin Powers was frozen in "Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery" and they'll just defrost with a little microwaving or were the chicken bits frozen while I was still attending high school in 1976, by some kindly old church lady who just put them in her refrigerator thinking that someday, she's be helping some poor person get over the hump, when they were running out of money mid-month.

And I hate to sound unappreciative, but you know the food you get at food pantries? Its all the cheapest foods you can get at the supermarket. Spaghetti-O's, macaroni and cheese, off brands string beans and spaghetti sauce. I did grab a loaf of cinnamon swirl bread today. I used to love that as a kid. It was always a special treat when my mom would get that. Well, I just popped it in the toaster, and even after toasting it, it was so incredibly

stale, I could barely eat it.

Don't I look like I deserve a little better. I mean I appreciate that nice bag of groceries you give me once a month, but could you maybe give me some

stuff that YOU weren't throwing away from your cupboards? Thanks.

God, I sound like such an unappreciative bitch, don't I? But I just have a penchant for fresh food, you know? I'm funny that way.

You should have seen me last night at my figure drawing class. I was trying not to draw attention to myself, but they had a particularly nice layout of food last night. Sunflower bread, chips with about three different kinds of dips, a big bag of cookies, pastries, carrot sticks, several kinds of sodas. And I had neglected to eat before I had left because I was getting the freak on. See sex over food. Bad artist. Guess I was just trying to get inspired for the upcoming nudity before class.

And I was actually late, because of my shenanigans, and got a crummy seat because of it. And I ended up drawing pictures of the model's back most of the

whole night. Yippie. But as soon as breaktime was called I practically jumped over the top of several people to lunge at the food table. I hadn't eaten since morning.

I think there is a guy at the art class who may like me a little. Kevin. We first met when our art show was being set up at the art gallery in February. He's not much taller than me, maybe about 5'5". I think he may be Jewish, which is great. I like Jewish men. Dark hair. Beard. Soft spoken. May have a sense of humor. And last night he mentioned he had taken a nap with his cat that afternoon. That's not exactly a Manly thing to admit to a woman, but it's something that touched my little kitty-lovin' heart, so points for Kevin. Not sure what to do from here.

So not much more on the agenda today. I do have an appointment with my case manager. I expect I will be talking to her about my upcoming parting with my beloved shrink "A". I actually ended up calling the emergency line Tuesday night because I was so distraught about it and she happened to be on duty, so she knows what's coming.

I also have to look for a card for a wedding I'm going to Friday night. My first lesbian wedding. Not really sure what the parameters are or what is expected.

Like what do I wear? Overalls and Birkenstocks? And gifts? What do I get them? A gift certificate to Home Depot? This is all new to me. I actually do know what I'm giving them. I'm giving them one of my paintings that they appear to like. I did the painting while "C" was in my painting group and she just went wild over it. It has to do with Billie Holiday...

So, at least I don't have to go out and spend money on anything, since I don't have any. I have done a little bit more on the painting since I took a picture on it. It's looking more complete these days. I hope they both like it.

Wow, my first piece of art will actually be hanging in someone's house. Or maybe they'll use it for a cat litter bin, who knows.

Well, that's all for now. And anyone contributing to food pantries, that's really nice of you, but, um...can we maybe have some food from, um...April 2004. Thanks. :-)

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty