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2004-05-23 @ 2:27 p.m.
computer geek centerfold girl

Oy. This will be a short entry. I'm on a I-MAC computer at a strange library. The keys are for Hobbit fingers and are sticking. The screen is so small I can barely see it (just how do you I-MAC people do it?).

Yesterday my mom bought me a new modem, and I thought I was going to be computer geek extraordinaire last night. I had watched "A" put one in after all. I had watched him take my computer tower off (with ease), unsnap the old modem (with ease), snap in the new modem (with ease), put the top back on (with ease), do some magical typing of introducing New Mr. Modem to Old Mr. Computer (with ease) and I thought....PIECE OF CAKE!!!

HA! It took me at least 20 minutes to get the tower off the freakin' computer, and then once it was off, I think I found the powdered remains of Jimmy Hoffa.

Freakin' hell, how much dust can accumulate in one computer before it chokes to death and dies from suffocation?

So I had my computer on my bed and I'm blowing it out, and there is dust flying all over the sheets and the lamp and the window sills, and I'm digging out greasy globs of gray grit from the fan inside. It was fun.

Of course, I was terrified to touch any of the millions of tiny little pieces inside, but fortunately, I knew right away which one was the modem. It was the thing with the telephone jack holes in it (Am I not brilliant? That college thing really paid off, even though I majored in journalism).

Naturally I didn't have the right kind of screwdriver. I only have one HUGE MEGA screwdriver in my toolbox, you know the kind they might put together a 33 billion ton NASA satellite with. So I had to go borrow a smaller one from my Eye-talian landlord.

In record time though, I finally had the old modem out and the new one in, and I was very excited about that. The only strange thing? The new one was half the size of the old one. What was up with that?

Putting it back together was a little easier than taking it apart and I was soon plugging everything back into the wall once again.

God, I was proud of myself. I did a little wittykitty happy dance around the bedroom, figuring I would soon be the Centerfold goddess for Computer Geek magazine. Computer geeks everywhere would be putting down their keyboards momentarily and saying to themselves, not only is this chick HOT, she can also install MODEMS!!

So I put in the CD rom into the computer to install the software which accompanied the modem and I was really excited because I was so close to lift-off and then I clicked on the software thingie.

RRRrrrrrr, RRrmmrrrrr.

The CD rom spins but won't engage. It must be defective. So I can't install the software, thus making the modem useless.

Thus bringing us back to typing on tiny I-MACS in strange libraries which would make even Mini-Me feel half blind.


But at least I tried. And I installed that little bastard and I did a good job. And I still think I should be idolized by computer geeks everywhere, if for no other reason, than my sheer dazzling adacious tower-lifting and removal and replacement ability.

Yeah, baby!

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty