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2004-10-19 @ 4:30 p.m.
how my heart was stolen, even though they wore fur


Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, October 19:
You should expect to finally let go of one or two of the many deep thoughts you've been having lately. Does that mean your personal magnetism will be coming to a close? Not hardly. It's just beginning.

Deep thoughts? Personal magnetism? I have those? And that? Wow. Who knew.

Ok, I could definitely stand to let go of a few deep thoughts. And some not so deep ones. And maybe even some of those really irritating making-me-crazy-at-3-a.m.-so-I-can't-sleep ones. Those are really pesky and are starting to cut into my beauty sleep. And I definitely need that. At least 6 months worth. Preferably until after Christmas so I don't have to buy presents.

That's me. Always thinking of the bottom line.

So I saw the ever helpful and resolute "A" this morning. Poor "A". What patience he has with my stubborness. He is probably the only person whose head is as hard as mine. If New York City ever needed to drill some new subway tunnels, he could start at one end of Manhattan and I could start at the other, and with our equally hard heads, we could drill some really useful and large tunnels.

I have trouble confronting people. He thinks confronting people is important. He's right. Absolutely. Positively. I'm wrong. But because of my weakness in confronting people I tend to prolong my own suffering. I did it with my Dad. I'm doing it with Married Guy. And I'm miserable, in case you haven't noticed. I'm like the indecisive Teyva in "Fiddler on the Rood". I have to keep weighing things out...like what is worse? Confronting? Or holding everything in and just living with it?

So far, holding everything inside is winning. That's probably why I grew up with ulcers as a kid. Our family motto used to be: Hold it in and win! Although in my mother's case it was more, make fun of the fat kid and feel good about yourself, but bygones.

So "A" and I futzed around with that for my entire session and I didn't really settle anything, due to my stubborness. Yay me. And rather ironically today, when I was saying good-bye to him, I was turned towards some large photos family photos he has on his walls. They're really really cute. Him with his kids. Family. The one supposed panacea for all that ails me. I went out to my car afterwards and cried for 40 minutes.

I then headed over to the library to return a video and check my e-mails. I'd like to thank you ,guys for your notes. They were very nice, but damn, if I didn't start weeping like Tammy Fae Bakker right in the middle of the freakin' library. That'll teach ya' to look at your e-mails in public, witty. But thanks. They were very appreciated. :-)

On the way home, I made another stop. A woman from my support group recently lost her dog. It was the dog I had pet-sat back in December. She had a whole cabinet full of wet dog food left over, and since she knows I don't have much cash, she thought maybe I could give it to my kitty, Guardcat.

Dog food to a kitty? Hmm. I wonder if she'll bark after she eats it?

But I took it anyways, since it was nice of her to offer, but kittikins turned her nose up at it. I mean, she had licked all the gravy off the meaty bits. And then dragged several cold, slimy meaty bits out in the middle of the kitchen floor where I could step on them in the middle of the night in my bare feet, but it was a no-go. No dog food for kitty.

So I ended up taking it to the SPCA. And oh my goodness. There were Kitties and doggies everywhere. Of course there were witty, it was the freakin' SPCA!! But Orphans. Abandoned fur-babies. I think I may have found some new best friends.

When I got there, I hoisted the box of dog food up on the counter. There were two military guys standing there. They were leaving off a dog because they were going to Iraq. Dammit Bush! Your decisions are even reaching down into the animal kingdom for crissakes. They seemed really sad about it. The receptionist wished them luck as they left. Yeah, you'll need it.

I then told her about the food and she told me the reason cats don't like dog food. It's because they're carnivorous and dog food is largely grain. ok. makes sense. Kitty is a Carnivore. I figured since she likes to snack on my fingers for no apparent reason while I'm watching TV.

After asking about volunteer possibilities (There's a lot of laundry to do evidently. How did she know about my laundry fetish??), I shyly asked if I could go in and look at the kitties. I guess 12-15 cans of Skippy dog food was worthy of a visit to kittyland, so she had me sign in, and I was told which rooms I could visit.

And then there they were. My new children. Ok they were only the abandoned kitties at the SPCA, but my heart immediately leapt when I saw them. I wanted every last one of them. Ok, I'm so poor I had just accepted 15 cans of Skippy dog food for my cat, but I can dream can't I? And I think my innate need to take care of creatures in need and FEEL needed really kicked in.

I soon met Pippin. I mean there was no name on his cage. I just named him that. A little gray tiger kitty. He grabbed my scarf and dragged it deep into his cage within seconds. Hey! Stop that! I want you! He was a real pistol though. They had a feather toy nearby, and he loved it. He was flipping upsidedown inside the cage attacking it. Whap! Whap!

There was this other kitten in the next cage. She was totally scared of the feather. She jumped backwards everytime I put it near her cage. If I were a SPCA cat, that would have been me. The scaredy cat. But not Pippin. He was Mr. Alpha-love-me cat. Man I really wanted to take him home. But what would Guard Cat think? Guard cat is an only child. And she likes it like that!

I did check out the other cat rooms. One room had a bunch of adult cats roaming freely. That was kinda cool. And for me, a major cat lover, it was like a kid winning a $10,000 shopping spree at F.A.O. Schwartz in NYC. 12 cats-no-waiting. And every single one of those guys smooched or rubbed my hand when I petted them. Don't you wish men did that?

I was going to leave after checking out the cats, because I'm primarily a cat person, but then I thought, what the hell, I've been listening to those damn yipping dogs for the last 40 minutes, why not head into the 2 kennel areas?

Oh.My.God. Well, it stunk for one thing. And the noise level was stupendous.Yow! At one point they were barking in such precise unison, that it reminded me of that all dog version of "Jingle Bells". You know, "arf, arf, arf, arf, arfarf all the way"

But there were some really cute dogs. There seemed to be an awfully high percentage of Schnauzers though. I wonder why? Are we anti-Schanuzers in our part of the country? Did a Schnauzer farm recently close down? Is there such a thing as a Schnauzer farm? Not really sure.

I did watch a teenage girl adopt a dog though. She was very excited. She was so excited she was almost in tears. And I was excited for her and the dog. He was finally getting out of The Big House!

Many of the dogs have been there for a while though. They have the dates they were accepted into the SPCA written on cards over their cages and many of them dated back to June. I just can't imagine these poor little pooches living on a cold slab of cement for 4 months. What a drag. No wonder they're barking. They're saying "Help! I wanna sleep on your couch and watch Animal Planet with you!"

I finally headed out after that. I did stop and say good-bye to Pippin. He was sleeping, but immediately woke up and was ready to play another 20 rounds of "Bite the Feather" with me. Now that's the kind of pet worth adopting. Please? Would somebody please adopt Pippin? Good. Have a happy life sweetie!


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