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2004-11-04 @ 4:00 p.m.
me and my shadow(ing)

So yesterday was my first day of "shadowing" my team member at my new job. I've stalked before, although not since high school. I once stalked an ex-boyfriend in high school. I left a fake love letter on the windshield of his white 1964 Mustang and signed it from a really popular cheerleader in our class. heh, heh. Pre-Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction". But at least there were no bunnies boiled in pots or anything. It turned out he was gay anyways, so he probably wished it was from the cute driver's ed teacher, Ron.

I had to meet them at noon. Of course most of this stuff will be confidential once I really start, but I will be assisting mentally ill people who are hopelessly entangled in "the system" and have no where else to turn, and for lack of a better phrase, "be their friend". We'll do fun or helpful together like go to the movies or go to the zoo or go bowling or go shopping or go to McDonald's and I will listen to them and help them in anyway I can. I guess I will do other things, like if they are having problems with Medicaid or they need some help learning the bus system, I'll be there for that too. A lot of mentally ill people get bumped around from place to place, homeless shelter to homeless shelter, and they are never really able to get a foot hold anywhere. My agency tries to help them feel like things aren't hopeless and that there are people there for them.

I've never been homeless, but many times I have felt very alone, so I can't even imagine what it feels like not to have a home. Must be rough.

So I met my fellow team member and her client. I tried to act very outgoing and be humorous. I didn't really know how to gauge my humor or personality because I really didn't know how mentally ill the person in the back seat was. She had just been picked up from the local mental hospital. I guess it'll be something I'll have to learn. We were going to be taking her shopping for clothes at the local mall, since she has little more than the clothes on her back.

She was pretty quiet on the way to the store and had to smoke several times before we went into the Evil Empire. She had $200 to spend so my team member kept a running tally on a calculator. It was the weirdest way to shop I ever saw though. She didn't try anything on. She was a big woman and didn't know that a size 10 might not fit and that a size 30 might be too big. She was pretty much like a hyperactive kid, pointing and throwing stuff into the cart. I was the official cart girl. But I soon graduated to fashion consultant, when I made one small suggestion, and then I was like Bruce, the Fashion Guy, putting tans with browns, and navy blues with white, instead of the helter skelter stuff she was throwing into the cart. I told her she was really going to be "stylin" and she seemed to appreciate that. And that from a girl who shops at the Salvation Army and garage sales. Go me!
About the only glitch was when she didn't know what bra size she wore and she had to pull up her shirt and have her team member try to read her faded bra tag size. I don't think her team member was real keen on girl-on-girl bra action in the middle of the Evil Empire, but that was the only way to get the info, since our charge was afraid to go into the dressing room. She later told us that her last underwire bra had left rust spots on her tits. Ummm, ok.

We headed over to McDonald's afterwards. The client begged and begged and begged for more than the $5 allotted money. She wanted two double quarter pounders with cheese, plus an extra large fry and a mega large coke. As in heart attack city. I would have probably folded with all the pitiful begging, but my team member was very stern with her and said she had to drop one of her double quarter pounders. My arteries just hardened thinking about all that cholesterol. I just got a cheeseburger and a diet coke, and had $3 left, which was good since I only had about 14 cents in my pocket. We played cards during lunch. Uno. I had never played that before, but it was pretty easy to learn. I made them laugh by acting stupid. My specialty.

We finally dropped her off at the mental hospital and headed back to the office and I got to talk to the team member a little more. A lot of our conversation had to do with the subject of "boundaries". Oh goodie! My favorite subject, right "A"? I'm terrible at boundaries, but I guess I'll have to learn to say no to these people, even if they are really manipulative. Hope I don't get steamrolled.

I did head over to my cute little cubical when we got back. According to my team member, I probably won't be there much, since we're on the road alot, but I still want to decorate it with wittykitty stuff. Maybe I can bring in some of my artwork to decorate the walls. Not the nudes of course. I do do other kinds of work. Some of my work is still there from the art show on October 22.

This morning was our coldest morning yet. It killed my beautiful morning glories dammit. I was so sad to see them all wilted and sickly looking. But I had to head out to "A"s office for group around 8:25. I actually managed to get there before him. He was in just about the mood I expected. Purposely crankdifferous about the election. He felt the need to bunch Clinton and Bush into the same sentence in order to irritate "C" to the point that she nearly left. He likes to kick things up in order to make people react. Damn Aries. He then made a crack about the Clinton Library and the Bush Library and I leaned over to the Mysterious Paul and said, "yeah, the Bush library probably only has Spiderman comic books and Where's Waldo". He laughed.

Comic gold I say! And it was only 9:03 a.m.!
After group I went and cashed the check I got yesterday for my dehumidifier. I hadn't looked at it when I got it from the woman. I think its rude to gape at a check when somebody hands it to you. Happily, she gave me $10 more than I had asked for, so I got $70! I was so psyched! That'll pay my phone bill and a tank of gas and maybe some new winter gloves! SCORE!

Afterwards I headed for the YMCA. Unfortunately it was busy like the first day, but I did manage to get a swimming lane all to myself. And as usual it took forever to get the boobs under water. I hate that! They are so damn sensitive! I finally did though and with my little flotation device and kick board, I started my laborious trek to the other end of the pool. What I didn't realize was that I was next to Thorpedo. Crimany. I was slow of course, but this female Thorpedo-chick was slicing through the water at warp speed and everytime I'd almost be at the end of the pool, she'd come along and do some Orca Whale flip and drench the hell out of me.

Do ya mind, Joanny Weismuller?

So my hair got wet, which was annoying, because it was freezing ass cold outside, but I did head over to the whirlpool afterwards to get warmed up and warmed up I did. There was one old lady in there when I got there, but I think she was cooked, so she got out and I had it all to myself. And I got to do my porno-thighs thing and got a really good whirlpool workout. Those hot waterjets are awesome, so sorry Married Guy. You've been replaced. And guess what? There's no emotional baggage or GUILT involved with whirlpools.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty