2005-01-01 @ 10:45 p.m.
what I originally meant to say last night...

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Only the geese down at the lake. Does that count?

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, although it does smell funny under my sink.

5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't even get up to Canada this year. I did look at it across the Saint Lawrence River though. Does that count?

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Self confidence. World Peace. A new bathing suit. World Peace. A new car. World Peace. Some new pastels. World Peace. A happier personal life. World Peace. Cable TV. Ummm, World Peace?


7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
No particular dates, just episodes like the Nanny Guy dropping his clothes in front of me thing. Breaking up with Married Guy. Selling my painting. My birthday was nice.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting my first job in 4 years. Not going under financially. Selling some artwork. Getting elected on an arts council board.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting anger rule my life. I have to get that under control and not let my emotions screw things up.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
My fibromaylgia continues to be a major physically debilitating problem and I really need a masseuse. Know any good ones?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Bought? I really don't buy things. I guess maybe cat food for Guard Cat. That seems like a good investment.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Well, even though some of my behavior was pretty atrocious this last year (right "A"?), I also showed some pretty incredible resolve and determination. I was really going under emotionally and financially midsummer, but I somehow managed to hang on with a little bit of help from my friends ("A", Married Guy -- at the time, my support group, my case manager).

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
President Bush. Donald Rumsfeld. Oh, and the married guy, of course.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent and gas.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Doing art. It really became my number one priority in 2004. I went to my Wednesday night class every week (except during snowstorms). I went to an art class down at the Crazy Crazy Place all spring and most of the summer (I used up all their art supplies). I had artwork in 4 art shows. I sold my first painting in November. I'm going to be having 3 of my images printed in a catalogue coming out in January. I also put images up nearly every week on my d'land website. Art is really important to me. I'm an Art Maniac, I tell you.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
I feel like a dweeb on this question. I actually don't listen to the radio, so I don't know any of the current music. So I'll pass on this question. Sorry.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Sadder, definitely.
b) thinner or fatter? same.
c) richer or poorer? richer (yay!)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Socializing. Flirting. Being a goddess.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Got an hour? Bitching about every last thing in the universe. Being resentful. Being sad. Being oversexed with no reciprocal for my affections. Not believing in myself. Not being able to express anger at the appropriate junctures, and then letting it build up to such extremes that I suddenly explode thus injuring innocent bystanders. Not getting out of bed til noon. Excessive eating when I'm depressed. Feeling sorry for myself. Snapping at grocery store stock clerks for not facing out the yogurt containers. Drawing large X's through my drawings when I deemed them failures. Talking to myself incessantly, even after I turn out the lights in bed. Do I need to go on?

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Oops, I guess I answered this too late -But the sniper attack on shoppers at the shopping mall was great! :-)

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
I was already in love, but it took a major hit at the beginning of October.

22. How many one-night stands?
None.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
I don't have cable so its somewhat limited. I did like "Survivor" as usual. And "The Apprentice" for the cat fights and "Desperate Housewives" for lines like "Rex cries when he ejaculates". I also occasionally watched "Boston Legal" so I could listen to the dulcet tones of the excessively illicit James Spader. Meowwwww!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate Married Guy (despite the drubbing he takes in my diary), but I am very disappointed in him. Besides being in love with him, I always held him in very high regard because of the way he was with his kids. He put them first, and I found that admirable.


25. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read anything other than newspapers and online stuff. I'm a media person.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Didn't really have any other than enjoying Sam and Dave in my art class.

27. What did you want and get?
A paycheck

28. What did you want and not get?
Married Guy

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn't see very many films this year. I did enjoy "RAY" because of Jamie Foxx's performance, and I just saw "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" yesterday, which I found very amusing. I can't remember any other films from the year though.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 46 on February 12th and was without a car so Married Guy came over and picked me up and drove me out to his house for a massage and my yearly birthday party he always gave me. It was a nice party with the kids and some gifts and a nice cake. He then drove me home and we kissed in the driveway.

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I hadn't opened my mouth about wifie. Also less physical pain.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Thrift store chic. Mostly tight jeans and turtlenecks in the winters and tight jeans and tank tops in the summer. I also wear an anarchy charm on my necklace.

33. What kept you sane?
My incredibly awesome shrink "A", without whose support, humor, bullheadedness (matched only by mine), generosity, willingness to go an extra mile, quirkiness (he takes off his shoes and sits like a 12 year old with his legs hooked over his chair during my session. Occasionally he'll accidentally on purpose kick me in the knee if I'm not doing the right thing), kindness, humanness (we've been angry at each other, but it has taught me that anger doesn't have to be the end of a relationship), silliness (quoting Austin Powers movies)...what was the question now. Anyways, "A" is the greatest. Also my online journal keeps me sane.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
If I could just close my eyes and LISTEN to him, probably James Spader.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
that damn election. Weren't we supposed to trim that damn Bush?????

36. Who did you miss?
My Dad as always.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I met a lot of new people on my new job, but no one really grabbed "the best" title. I also met some really great folks in my art class and while some of them were very enjoyable (like Charlemagne the Obnoxious French Guy), I really didn't have a Best there either. Sorry.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
Although "A" would disagree with this, and probably most others would too, mine would be: "Don't tell people the truth because they'll abandon you." This year with Married Guy was the second time I stuck my neck out and told someone my feelings about something I didn't like. The previous one was my Dad and his Filipino mail order whore. Both times the people reacted in very negative ways. I think if it looks like something you're gonna say is going to rupture a relationship than keep it to yourself. The end.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty