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2005-03-01 @ 1:28 a.m.
and the whiner is....

I was talking to my mom this evening about the Academy Award show last night. And of course, she had to be critical of just about everything. Especially that the guy who hosted... Kid Rock....

Yeah, didn’t he suck? And who would have ever thought to have Kid Rock hosting the Oscar Show? I mean, he hasn’t even been in any movies yet, has he?

Heh, heh, Kid Rock, hosting the Oscar. Good one, momsy.

I used to be so into the Oscars when I was a kid. My entire day would be constructed entirely around the Academy Awards. Me and my gay boyfriend would dress like our favorite movie for that day. And then we’d eat Oscar related food, like “It Happened One Night” bologna sandwiches for lunch. And then we’d walk up and down the long hallway in my house like we were voguing for the paparazzi. Craig was so much better at it than me. He was really cute and could swish his hips so much more convincingly than me. And he was certainly better at the phony Hollywood wave. I personally think he practiced it in his bedroom all day so he could look more like Faye Dunaway, while I looked like some dumpy obscure British actress who no one ever heard of. His parents were extremely religious and didn’t approve of movies, so he always came over to my house to watch the Oscars.

We loved watching the movie stars walking in. Craig was actually like a future Cojo. I would just sit there and watch all the pretty movie stars with fake eye lashes, but he was merciless when it came to discussing their fashion faux paus. The only person we could really always agree on was Liza Minnelli and her then-date Desi Arnaz Jr. They were such a dreamy couple. Liza with her bejeweled choker collar. Desi with his rakish black hair and tuxedo. We always thought they would have such beautiful children together. And we could always imagine Liza singing Cabaret to them and Desi playing the bongo drums for them. But alas, reality had to rear its ugly head. Desi wasn’t gay enough for dear old Liza. Another dream dashed.

Well, its very late. Gotta get up for "A"s appointment in the morning. I'm very happy that Jamie Foxx won for "Ray". He just totally kicked ass in the role. And also its the only film I saw this year except "Sideway" about a bunch of winos who wanted to sleep with a bunch of women. More tomorrow, when I'm not tired and stressed out. My only regret on the oscars? That they didn't have a duet with Liza and Beyonce.

Like "Climb every mountain", with both of them in nun outfits. And Liza going through detox and thinking she sees Nazis up in the soundbooth. That would have been so cool.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty