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2005-05-14 @ 11:69 p.m.
when not getting the finger is even better

I decided to go garage saleing today just because of the sheer number of sales listed in the today’s newspaper. I love going to rich people’s houses and buying their fancy schmancy crap for 25 cents. It just, I don't know, gives me pleasure, knowing that I’m smarter than them. Kinda like, hey, look at all the money they spent and now I’m handing them a quarter for it. SCORE!!! I am a primo garage saler too. It may be borne out of necessity, because I can’t afford the real things (like clothes and CDs), but its not really a bad thing. Part of the fun is the hunt.

I did sleep in a little this morning. It was supposed to rain in the A.M. so I went back to sleep when my alarm went off at 8:30. And I had the weirdest dream. It was about “A”. And I know I talk about him alot, but I rarely dream about him. That would be a little Freudian don'tcha think? Dreaming about your shrink. I guess it would only be Freudian if we were having sex with a live video cam feed over the internet or something.

Anyways, so I got a late start on my garage sales. My first stop was actually at a Wendy’s Restaurant. They’ve been advertising a free Frosty if you stopped in on Friday or Saturday. Of course the word FREE and Frosty made it immediately appealing. When I went in to the counter, I did order the Vegan Frosty however. You know, as in...No Finger. Heh. The counter chick didn’t seem particularly amused. Bygones. Free frosties for everyone!!

Than it was off to the vast array of Garage Sales. The thing you have to remember about garage sales is that if a whole community is having one, usually those suck, because everyone doesn’t want to miss an opportunity to get rid of their Country Kitchen ceramic ducks from 1987. Or their prozac inspired artwork of an old farmhouse with ducks flying over it. Or the duck placemats. Or the duck windchimes. In fact, going through these large community garage sales is really a testament to “What were you thinking when you bought that crap and did you really have that Duck Calendar up on your kitchen wall for an entire year?”

So even though I will go to those community garage sales if I’m really bored, I generally prefer to go to more individualized sales. And of those, I prefer Moving and Estate Sales. And going a little later in the day isn’t really all that bad of an idea, because usually by then, some people are already starting to mark things down dramatically, like I don’t want to pack this crap the hell up again. That’s when you graciously offer to take it off their hands for 50% less than what’s written on their price tags.

Pricing is kind of funny. You can always tell people who haven’t had a garage sale before, because they’re trying to sell an avocado colored linen napkin from 1967 for $5. Honestly. You’re kidding right? You can get those down at the Rescue Mission store for 25 cents or at my Dead Aunt’s house for nothing. Or they’ll have an old 12” black and white television that their parents used to watch “Gunsmoke” on and they want $35. Really? Only $35? Would you mind dusting the 12 pounds of dust off the damn thing, so we can at least see if it works? I usually breeze through those sales really quick because obviously they don’t want to sell anything.

I much prefer those sales where somebody just needs to get rid of stuff so they sell it to you incredibly cheap. Like today, some guy had quite an extensive collection of CDs of all different music genres. He was selling them for 25 cents each. CDs!!! 25 cents!! Yay!! That’s really the only way I can afford to buy CDs is at garage sales. I would say about 98% of my CDs have been bought either at flea markets or garage sales. I ain’t proud. Who cares? CDs are CDs. I’ve never had any problem with any of them. Today I got the soundtrack from “High Fidelity”, the soundtrack from “Miss Saigon” (since I’m a Broadway geek), the soundtrack from “Immortal Beloved” (wonderfully produced classical music), “The Best of Jerry Lee Lewis”, “Santana’s Festivale”, the soundtrack to “Magnolia” and a Bonnie Raitt CD. Cost for 7 CDs? $1.75. I’ve already listened to three of them and they’re all fine and now I’m knee deep in new CDs. Yay!

I went to another estate sale and found some Authentic Vintage Calvin Klein CK 625 sunglasses. I haven’t worn sunglasses in years. They’re really a kind of unnecessary luxury for a food stamp girl, but there they were...

I took them from one room to a different bedroom with a mirror and tried them on. I either looked like the way-cool Blues Brother’s older auntie or just a way-cool artist, but either way the word “cool” was involved, so I went and asked the Estate Sales people how much they were. They looked at the glasses and then at the molded hard leather eye glass case with Calvin Klein written on it and said, “Oh, 50 cents I guess....”

Of course the first rule of Garage Sale Price Discovery Excitement is DON’T SHOW I just said, oh, ok...I’ll think about it and then went back into the bedroom and did a little happy Snoopy dance. I actually had originally just looked at the glasses case because my cheap Medicaid glasses are always popping lens in the soft cotton case I keep them in in my purse. But there they were. Cool sunglasses for 50 cents!! There were also a pair of Raybans there too. Why I didn’t snap those up too, I don’t know. So tonight when I got home, I immediately ran to E-Bay to look up to see how much my glasses were worth in E-Bayland.

Starting bid....$49.95!

More Happy Snoopy dancing. I think I scared Guardcat. She thought I was having a seizure.

About the only other things I found today was a book about JFK assassination which I will probably put on E-Bay and an elaborate purple and green feather mask for our next Mardi Gras Night in my art class....

Or for my next strange Freudian dream with "A", which ever comes first. :-)

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty