blackbird.jpg (30437 bytes)

2005-06-03 @ 12:20 a.m.
gardening erotica for amateurs...


I think there might have been some kind of glitch down at sMatch.com today. I just got my semi-daily e-mail from them. The one which promises to supply me with my dream date. Usually it has 3-5 pictures of guys with a percentage number next to their names, which supposedly implies how much they have in common with me.

So, today I get my sMatch.com missive. I opened it kind of half heartedly, since I really don't think this sMatch.com thing is going to work out. So what did I see? Well, there was Jerry from the local yuppie village where "A" has his office. I looked at his profile briefly. It was fine until I hit "Smoker" and then it was "Click....next".

And then what I saw next was mind boggling. And yes, I think perhaps I even might have let out a rather large blood curdling scream when I saw it. Because when I scrolled down on the sMatch.com screen for my next three "default" matches, there they were....THREE LESBIANS...yup....as in women seeking women. And I was sitting there wondering how the frook did THEY get there? Since when did a lesbian become my "default" choice for dates? Did I miss something? I mean, I don't want to take these lovely women off the market for someone who is really interested in them....(Wasn't that noble of me?) So I just deleted the e-mail. Bygones. Bye now.

It has been a very slow week for work. I didn't work at all this week until today (Thursday). I took my new client out for lunch and a haircut and a trip to the evil empire. She seemed ok and conversation was fairly easy with her, although I do wish she'd wash her hair once in a while. I wondered what the hairdresser thought as he was cutting her hair because it was totally filthy. But she said I was easy to talk to, and she enjoyed our time together, so that's really all that's important.

Had group with "A" this morning. It was small and "A" was whippier than usual. He must be a morning person. He was doing Richard Gere impressions and movie quotes from "American Gigolo". Of course, who can really tell how accurate a Richard Gere impression is, because who can really remember Richard Gere in "American Gigolo"? (I mean besides you "A"). Because really the only thing I can remember about Richard Gere in "American Gigolo" was that there was full frontal male nudity (funny how I'd remember something like that, huh?) and that, at the time, I was like "woot! Naked Penises!!"

Thank god for Rewind buttons, ya know?? ;-)

Can't really remember much else about group except that Mysterious Paul was trying to achieve some kind of a breakthrough so he can get on with his life and I'd really like to see him have one since he seems like a really nice man.

Of course, Geeky Harold, who sort of talks like Al Franken, was trying to be helpful by using metaphors about using his rake to remove thatches from his lawn. "A" and I sort of subconsciously glanced at each other and smirked. The use of the word "Rake" was such a blatantly sexual reference to both of us. And well, when such an opportunity (cough) arises, I, being awittykitty, must take it. So I did make a joke about that...about Mysterious Paul using his rake. And wouldn't you know it? "A" said something similar at just about the same time.

Great minds think alike, right "A"?

So fortunately, everyone laughed including Mysterious Paul, so at least he didn't think we were making light of his dilemma, because he too, I think, realizes his rake needs to be taken out of the tool shed.

My. Is it warm in here? Or is all this gardening erotica just making me hot?

Anyhoo, last night's art class was the first of our themed classes for the month of June. Each Wednesday in June, in the interest of stirring up some attendance in a month that is universally bad, we have decided to have various theme nights throughout the month and last night was Renaissance Night.

I really enjoyed it because it brought back one of my favorite models. Some of my best drawings have come from her because she's so interesting to look at. She has this serene, impressionistic face and rounded body and she always does our other theme nights like Halloween and Mardi Gras, namely because she brings her own costumes and such. And last night was no different. Even though this was a nude drawing class, the longer poses had her dressed in a hand made Elizabethan dress. And she also brought, what I believe was a Celtic harp. It was really cool looking, and I actually spent more time drawing that than I did of her.

As usual, my teeny, tiny scanner only captured about 60% of the image. I really wish I had a larger scanner so that I could scan my entire images and not have large segments of them cut off, especially on drawings like this, because a large hunk of the harp is missing. About my only real complaint about the picture is my hand. I absolutely suck donkey's testicles when it comes to drawing hands. I just can't draw them. Instead of being dyslexic, I think I'm actually handlexic. But other than that, the image is pretty good. I even had this one woman, who comes to the class and owns an art gallery come over and tell me that she really liked the piece and that felt pretty good. She's never talked to me about my work before. So here is the Girl with the Harp.





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