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2005-06-16 @ 4:15 p.m.
have poltergeist, will travel

Ok, strange things have been afoot at the wittykitty house for about a month now. Well, actually some strange things happened last summer, like fruit jumping off my kitchen counter and committing suicide into the cat box for no apparent reason, but I just figured it was just some random act and blamed the ghost that lives in the cat box. Doesn't everyone have a ghost who lives in their cat box? No? Oh. Ok. Maybe its just my kitchen then. Because I frequently have things leap off counters when I would walk away for no other reason than to freak the hell out of wittykitty. And now its starting to bubble up again. Except that the strange going-ons have moved out into other parts of the house....

I mean, who can forget the recent haunted printer incident, where both the printer printed something while in the off position at 3:13 a.m. AND when I went outside my landlord's car was running even though they were in bed. Gah! Am I going mental or what?

And then there's been a multitude of little things happening like I was sitting watching the movie "Magnolia" the other day, and during the last cathartic scene where it starts raining frogs from the sky, which is very dramatic and well, cathartic, I was suddenly startled by another apparent suicide of a blue Fiestaware sugarbowl off the top of my refrigerator. It just leapt off the fridge and smashed into several large pieces all over my kitchen floor, and I was like WTF?? I wasn't even near the kitchen.

And then the
glass of diet coke incident, where while I was sitting, quietly contemplating my next brilliant phrase of diaryland text at my computer, my glass of newly poured Diet Coke just flung itself off the edge of my desk and nearly shorted out the entire Northern Hemisphere house by spilling onto a plugged in power strip.

And who can forget what happened Monday afternoon, when I was sitting on the couch talking to my mom on the phone? It was hotter than 300 suns glaring off Angelina Jolie's lips and I was kind of slouched onto the couch, trying not to dehydrate myself into a pile of kitty litter, when suddenly that damn fire station alarm went off next door, for about the fifth time that afternoon. Naturally I had to stop talking because that stupid ass thing is louder than Carol Channing singing "Hello Dolly" at a drag club. And then as soon as it stopped, we commenced talking, suddenly, my freakin' VCR decided to turn itself on and start rewinding the tape all BY ITSELF!?!

Fruck!!!!! And I'm not even anywhere near it, nor do I have a remote for it, nor had I been watching it that day, plus I've been having trouble with tapes getting stuck in it. And now its merrily rewinding itself....BY ITSELF with me looking on in amazement.

Cue: "Twilight Zone" music.

And I guess I shouldn't even mention the plant incident out on my front porch. Last week when I got home, a large plant had "fallen" off my porch and all three plants which I had planted in pot them were neatly stacked upright at perfect 90 degree angles around the outer edges of the pot about 10 feet away from the porch. Could they have been blown there by the wind? Hell, no. The pot was a heavy antique pot with about 10 pounds of dirt in it.

So what is going on? I have no idea. Space aliens? No. Mental illness? No. My illness usually only really presents itself as hypersensitivity to criticism...not flower pots surreptitiously creeping along asphalt breezeways.

So when I was telling my mom about all this stuff, and for some reason she thinks my dead father is trying to communicate with me.

Huh? My Dad trying to communicate with me? But he's been dead for over 2 years now. No use trying to smooch up to me for Father's day, Dad. Cuz, I wouldn't know where to send the card! And besides, I'm not really sure what he would be trying to communicate to me. The location of his "real" will? That would be nice, huh? But not likely. I'm sure the Filipino mail order whore took care of ALL of them.

But my mom kept telling me about her favorite Psychic who appears on the Montel Williams show. I can't say her name, because she Googles her on a regular basis. But she did tell me that people who are trying to talk to you from the 'other side", might do mischievous things to get your attention, like toss things off counters and move things from room to room. And rewind video tapes?? And turn on computer printers at 3:13 a.m.? Maybe, huh?
Sheesh! Just what I need, my own little poltergeist.

Yesterday was my big St@ff D@y celebration at work. It was actually a lot of fun. Our theme was a Beatles song title and everyone had to wear 1960's hippie clothing. Of course for me, it wasn't all that big of a deal. Because all I had to do was...OPEN THE CLOSET. About the only thing I did buy to wear was a groovin' pair of orange and purple paisley print pants down at a local thrift store. They were a little big, and I had to keep pulling them up all day, but I really liked how they looked and hey, they were only $6! So along with the paisley print pants, I also wore a black tank top, my big ol' peace sign necklace, some hippie beads, some bracelets, a ring with a snake and some sandals. I then put white daisies throughout my hair and wore my big ol' John Lennon glasses (mainly so I could freakin' see, since I'm a middle aged hippie). I also made long ringlets from all the loose hair which had fallen out of my bun. I had originally thought of going like Janis Joplin, but I didn't think of it until 10 p.m. the night before, so I didn't have time to put anything together.

So the day was really good. Had lots of contest. I won a free haircut. (?). I wanted the free theatre tickets, but oh well. Had some good food. I tried to socialize with people I don't usually talk to. I even talked to one of the big bosses. I was a little nervous because one of the posters I had made....well, heh, heh, I had used a photo of his face as large plate sized Bingo Chips. When I had shown the poster to the original committee they had all laughed for about 5 minutes. Hope he thought it was funny. Gulp.

Anyways, I had brought my digital camera along to take some pictures of my co-workers looking like dorky hippies, and I decided to have someone take my picture, (which incidentally, didn't fall into the dorky category. I had several people tell me I looked cute and groovy). Our event was out at a country club. I decided to have the picture taken outside since it was more natural looking and there was trees and greenery and fortunately, the weather had finally cooled off a little. So I showed this person how to use the digital camera and then stood in front of a nice pine tree. I figured it would provide a nice backdrop for the picture. So he took the picture and I never really looked at the picture on the playback. After our event I went and had it printed at the yuppie grocery store, along with some other prints of people singing and carryon (i.e., blackmail pictures). When I got out in the car, I took the pictures out and saw this:

Ha, ha, ha. There's witty as a hippy. What else is new? WTF is that weird thing hovering near the left side of my head??? I looked at it repeatedly.


I could not tell what it was. It looked like a partial face of someone. When I went to my art class last night (which also had a Beatles theme - Yay! I just left most of my hippie garb on and one of the artists in the class asked to draw my portrait for a second time since I've known him. Whee! That's the second time THIS WEEK someone has drawn me. Maybe I should start charging.) I showed the picture to several people and asked what they thought. "L" the hippie lady just thought somebody's finger was on the lens. The weird hovering head though is Caucasian. The person who took the picture was black. Other people thought it was a freak film negative. There is NO negative! It's a digital camera.

So everyone was pretty much boonswoggled by the weird hovering head. My mom wanted to know if it looked like my Dad. Yikes! No. I don't know. Maybe. Gah! It actually looks a little like a cop. Like from overhead. It definitely looks like a human entity of some type though. So I don't know. Maybe its my little household poltergeist. He got tired of knocking dishware and fruit off the counter and just wanted to go to St@ff D@y with me....

Yeah, that's it!!

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty