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2005-06-30 @ 11:06 a.m.
global warming in my underwear for starters

Man, did somebody punch a hole in the ozone over the Northeast, and start Global Warming or something? Ka-Chree-isttt! Last summer we had one day that hit 90 degrees for the entire summer! So far in June, we've had 10 days with 90 degrees or over and it looks like we're going hit it again today. Damn. Stop it. Other than making my hair look awesome with the humidity, this heat and humidity totally sucks.

Hey! Did you know that I'm edgy? Ha! Yeah, its true. I was in my boss' office on Monday, waiting to get something and several of my co-workers schmooshed into it too and "J" started talking to me about Janis Joplin once again out of the blue. I told him about the guy in the elevator who thought I had dressed like Janis for our St@ff D@y and we were sort of laughing about it, and then the Lesbian Chick, who thinks I'm a goddess and who is always staring at me like I'm a rock star, joined in by saying, "And you're so EDGY too!!".

Heh, heh. Me edgy? Mickey Roarke is edgy. Donald Rumsfeld is edgy in a Darth Vadar, I've got my finger on the End-of-the-World-Rocket-Launcher Button edgy. But me? I'm about as edgy as Regis Philbin on prozac.


Yesterday, despite the heat and a car engine which is weeping vast amounts of oil, was fun. I got to take my client shopping at the Evil Empire and let her spend $200! It was great, because she doesn't have anything. She's very poor. I even woke up excited like it was for me. So I picked her up, we had a quick bite and then we went shopping. She was a little angst ridden about picking stuff out. I had a calculator with me to keep a running total and she was afraid to pick up anything more than $2. And I was like "Go for it, woman! Its Christmas in June!!" She finally got the hang of it, in the shoe department and it got a little easier. But it was still hard for her to spend $200.

We did run into problems at the counter however. (and why wouldn't we? We were at the Evil Empire, which is populated with some of the dumbest of the dumb it seems. Like every time we asked where things were, the clerks would send us in the wrong direction). Anyways, for some reason, my tax exempt card wasn't acceptable to the 18 year old know-it-all at the counter and all 50 things in the cart had to be taken off the conveyor belt and put back in the cart. Because according to her, they couldn't take what I had and only the person who signed the card could shop with it. Now isn't that idiotic? Does the person who signs YOUR checks have to appear with you when you cash them at YOUR bank? That's basically what they were saying. That our financial officer from our company would have to drive all the way to Walmart to buy this woman a pair of sneakers and tank tops. So I started having to make phone calls on my cell phone. Anyone ever notice how incredibly loud the overhead speakers are at Walmart? I don't normally shop there except to get my oil changes. But fruck. It was like trying to talk over a Nascar racetrack. Listening to Peggy Sue scream for back up in the Lingerie Department. "Can I geeet help in FemeeNINE A-ttire?"

My boss almost thought she was going to have to drive out to save us, but after talking to people at her end, and me talking to the various levels on the Walmart Food Chain, I finally got to management, and the head Dork, just kind of shrugged his shoulders and said, "Sure, we take that. No problem!!" I snarkily suggested that maybe he should send out a memo to some of his people about how to do basic things like tax exempt cards and maybe suggest manners in the meantime. Yay me!!

In the meantime, I lost my client. I had told her she could go outside to smoke and then I couldn't find her. I walked all over the freakin' store, went outside, walked to the car, loaded the stuff, went back inside. No "J". I started to freak out. Where the hell was she? Just my luck. I lost my client in Walmart. I finally spotted the back of her head. She was sitting in the little restaurant. By then I was bright red and sweaty, and dare say I, a little edgy. But I was nice to her, because she's my client. So I took her home. She was really appreciative of all her Walmart spoils. I'm glad she got them. She deserves a break.

After that I headed home. I just went in my bedroom, took off all my clothes, turned on my little window air conditioner (which I finally managed to put in last weekend. Feisty Irish Girl Scores Again!!) and flopped into bed for about 45 minutes. Ahhhh!

But then it was almost time for my art class. Had a quick dinner and then headed over to the community center. Last night was the last of our special events for June. We had live music for the first time ever and our model was 8 1/2 months pregnant!! And that was very interesting. I, of course, have never been pregnant (unless the Immaculate Conception can somehow be dialed up on some cosmic computer screen), so to see how the pregnant body looks naked was pretty neato-keeno. We won't count Demi Moore's magazine cover, since it was probably air brushed anyways. But the reality of the situation is a lot different when when you see it in person. It was really intriguing. I just don't know how women do it. This woman was very slender, and all I could think was wow, your back must really hurt when you carry all that weight up front. Plus during the break, she talked to "L" the hippy chick and I, and she had just been to the doctor, and some kind of protective casing was partially gone and it looked like the baby, was in fact, going to be coming in the next week or so. So we were all making jokes like...OK, if the water breaks and you're in the middle of a pose, don't move, because the artist's need to finish a drawing is far more important than your need to get to a hospital. Ha! Yeah, I'm sure she was highly amused.

But, I actually did more drawings of the two musicians who joined us at the half way point. A fiddle player and a guitar player. I think I sometimes get bored with naked people, so any chance to do something different, I take it. As usual, my scanner cut off the image, because my drawing actually encompassed the entire guy's face, his rather beefy shoulders and guitar. But here is at least his guitar and chubby knees. Enjoy.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty