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2005-09-10 @ 10:46 p.m.
fifty minus one

01) Last dream: My usual one where I'm in a car and I have no control and it's driving itself and almost hitting traffic left and right and going into ditches. I think its really a metaphor for my life. No control.

02) Last car ride: "C" taking me down to work Thursday.

03) Last kiss: When Charlemagne kissed the boo-boo on my finger. Kiss on the lips? Geeze, probably last October when I was still seeing Married Guy. I think my lips are reverting back to virginity.

(04) Last good cry: Watching the New Orleans flood coverage on the news. Its not so much the stories about people, but whenever they show a dog or a kitty getting rescued, I sob for like 5 minutes. I also cried this morning reading about the death of Hiss and Tell's beloved dog Patchouli. Man, that was a real tearjerker, especially since I always ask her about Patch when we chat. I feel like I've lost a loved one too.

(05) Last missing library book: A photography book about gargoyles which I found under my bed when I moved.

(06) Last movie seen: "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" for the second time.

(07) Last person who talk to you: Some guy whose yard I walked by on the way home today. He said "Hi". Wow, somebody actually said Hi to me. Grab him witty! He has a house! He said hi! grab him!!

(08) Last cuss word uttered: fuck. How original, huh? I don't really cuss in real life. Only in my car.

(09) Last beverage drank: diet coke

(10) Last food consumed: Dannon raspberry yogurt

(11) Last crush: Married Guy.

(12) Last phone call: My mom. I had to listen to her blah, blah, blah about her new "friend", an Eye-talian performer who does impressions like Frank Sinatra and Elvis. In 3 short weeks she's become a total groupie and now I have to listen to all her girlish conversation about him and how wonderful he is. I think my head is going to explode.

(13) Last TV show watched: National News with John Siegenthalier.

(14) Last item bought: Some groceries.

(15) Last time showered: 1:00 p.m. today. Did you peek?

(16) Last shoes worn: sandals.

(17) Last CD played: "One" a Beatles collection.

(18) Last downloaded: I don't know how to do that.

(19) Last annoyance: My car not starting. The kids across the street screaming and yelling. Having to walk a mile to the store today. Only getting 3.5 hours at work this week. Getting oogled by a toothless guy in a pick up truck. I could go on.

(20) Last disappointment: Realizing how small my new apartment actually was after I moved here. But it does have personality. I'm just trying to remember that. And the waterfall, witty. Don't forget the waterfall outside your door! Oh, and also not getting my full deposit back. Damn rip-off!

(21) Last soda drank: diet caffeine free coke

(22) Last thing written: Are you reading this? Ah ha! Clues abound!!

(23) Last key used: the front door key, since it definitely ain't my car key.

(24) Last word spoken: "Hey freakhead" to my cat when I got home. Yes, I do have stimulating conversations, don't I?

(25) Last trip to the bathroom: Again, aren't the secret cameras hooked up right?

(26) Last sleep: I fell asleep this afternoon around 2 and woke up at 5. I'm not feeling that great today. My fibro is kicking my ass.

(27) Last instant message: My gay friend down in Manhattan IM'd me last night during his hit Broadway show where he works. He said he wished he could just go home and watch TV and eat Chinese take out. See how exciting working on a Broadway show is?

(28) Last sexual fantasy: Getting locked in the unisex bathroom with Charlemagne the Obnoxious French Guy and letting him show me his tattoos. And then it goes from there. We would definitely leave the window open so people could hear our cries of passion. That would make it more fun.

(29) Last orgasm: heh. Ummm. Before I moved into my apartment, I kinda "christened" it. I had brought over a load of boxes including my sex toys since I didn't want some mutant-mover-guy carrying "the goods" and having the lid fling open and having my dildo and vibrators flying willy nilly. So anyways, with no furniture in my future bedroom, I layed down on the floor with some blankets and pillows and did the wild thang al fresco. And its funny, there's a smoke detector in the room and I had just seen a report on like 20/20 about all the places a camera can be hidden, so I was wondering, hmmm, I wonder if there's a camera in there. And then later when I went out to my car, all (ahem) refreshed, my landlord came out of this little room under the building and gave me this big friendly wave, and I started imagining him watching me writhe around on my empty bedroom floor on some secret TV screen. That was kinda hot too...until I got incredibly paranoid about it. Man, I really need a shrink appointment.

(30) Last weird encounter: Having a mentally ill guy ask me if I rode ponies. Was that sexual?

(31) Last store shopped at: Target. Since I moved, I now live a 1/2 mile from Target and I literally have to go there everyday to buy something. My mother called me a Targeteer yesterday.

(32) Last ice cream eaten: Caramel sundae at McDonald's Thursday. So much for getting that high cholesterol under control.

(33) Last time amused: When I played croquet with the boys at the company picnic and acted like a goofball.

(34) Last time wanting to die: When my car wouldn't start yesterday. I'm tired of being poor. It makes my life difficult and not worth living sometimes.

(35) Last time in love: Married Guy whenever he would look at me with those intense blue eyes.

(36) Last time hugged: Charlemagne the Obnoxious French Guy last week in my art class. I need more hugs. 1-800-wittyneedshugs. Oh and give to the Red Cross effort too. :-)

(37) Last time scolded: Probably by "A" because I won't do

(38) Last time resentful: Ongoing problem. I'm resentful all the time. I'm working on it in therapy though.

(39) Last chair sat in: The chair my arse fills whilst writing this.

(40) Last lipstick used: Cover Girl Wild Rose.

(41) Last underwear worn: underwear?

(42) Last bra worn: purple mesh underwire with tiny flowers on straps. It's the only one that even approaches sexy.

(43) Last shirt worn: retro sixties flower t-shirt. Very tight. Actually looks like I have cleavage. Yay!

(44) Last class attended: my figure drawing class last Wednesday

(45) Last exam taken: I haven't a clue, except maybe my driver's test about 15 years ago.

(46) Last time dancing: Me dancing? Yeah, when penguins do karaoke.

(47) Last poster looked at: Well, today when I was walking home with my purse on one arm and three bags of groceries hanging on the other, I noticed that somebody had had the audacity to throw away a Wassily Kandinski poster out by the curb.

I could see that it was mounted, so I immediately snatched it up since Kandinski is one of my favorite artists. What I didn't realize was that it was mounted on a piece of wood and that SOB was heavy, especially carrying it along with groceries and my purse. But I only had to walk another 2.5 blocks until I got it home. Last week I also scooped up a bunch of multi-colored mattboards in perfect condition that were out on the curb about a block from here. I kinda felt like a dumpster diver, but hey, I'm poor, I'm an artist, mattboards are expensive and there they were, just waiting for my retreival. Yay!

(48) Last show attended: I haven't seen many shows recently, but I did sit and watch The Spinners perform at the Fair recently. I only watched for about 10 minutes since there was no shade and I was already sunburned to a crisp, but their show was pretty good for a bunch of old guys. If I was truly going to see a bunch of old guys, I'd rather go see The Rolling Stones though!

(49) Last web page visited: I was looking up things about my high CPK blood levels to see what they meant and it wasn't pretty.

Don't forget to scamper over to to vote for the old witty. I don't want to lose by that huge of a margin. Thanks.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty