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2005-11-03 @ 12:49 a.m.
the seven deadly sins


Well, since I'm too tired to be participating in any forms of sin tonight, I thought I would take this meme ABOUT sin that I found over at my fellow insomniac retail harlot's website. And since I'm Catholic, at least a fallen away one, I'm sure I'm guilty of at least 98% of these seven deadly sins, so please pray for me, would you?

WRATH

1. Who did you last get angry with? I'm a little perturbed with my landlord. My toilet keeps going on and off about every 7 minutes and 6 seconds, which not only makes Guardcat jump up in the air, but also scalds me in the shower. I've already asked him to fix it twice in the last week, but nothing yet.

2. What is your weapon of choice? The written word.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? I wouldn't hit anybody unless I had to defend myself.

4. How about of the same sex? See above.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? I guess it would have to have been my Dad, when he thought I was accusing his beloved Filipino mail order whore of *gasp* stealing money from him. Can you imagine? Well, actually I can.

6. What is your pet peeve? People being late. People talking on cell phones. People not being honest. People not saying what the hell they mean. People lying. People who are rude. People who drive like they are on crack cocaine. People who act like they are entitled. People who nearly run you over with shopping carts in stores. Shrinks who fiddle with their laptops during your appointment (sorry "A"....that bugs me). People who assume you're not capable of doing anything valuable because you have a mental health diagnosis (Abraham Lincoln suffered severe depression incidentally). Married men who string you along by telling you they love you while they massage your ass. Ok. I'll stop, but I really could go on for several hours, you know.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Heh, heh. What do YOU think?


SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a while? Keep up my checkbook. I haven't done it in over a year. I am a checkbook rainman.

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? Probably about 1:20 p.m.

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't. My aunt and uncle. They gave me $50 for a new tire about 3 weeks ago and I've been meaning to send them a thank you note. "L" LOSER...

4. What is the last lame excuse you made? I was traumatized by a psychotic nun in fifth grade who beat me in front of the entire class.....so please don't make me do my checkbook. PLEASE!!!!! Unfortunately, its true. But its still lame for a 47 year old woman to use it to avoid doing her checkbook for over a year.

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? Yes. There was a snowstorm out last winter and I watched this little Italian guy with this chopping device thingie which chopped everything from tomatoes to tin cans. He even had a studio audience oohing and ahhing at the appropriate times. I eventually started throwing pillows at the TV.

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? I walked about 2 miles over the weekend. It wasn't exactly the Super Bowl of Olympic Workouts, but at least it was something healthy.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? I don't have a snooze alarm, you lazy bastards.

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? I don't do those. I only drink diet coke.

2. Meat eaters: Carnivore extraordinaire!

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? One creme de cocoa. Are you wildly impressed? I don't drink.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? Yes. I went to Weight Watchers briefly. I didn't like the rah-rah stuff. I thought it was kind of dumb.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight? Absolutely.

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Sweet.

7. Have you ever looked at a small pet or child and thought, "LUNCH"? Like a kittyburger?

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? Probably close to 75-80.

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? Does Guardcat count?

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Oh dear yes. And I'm a repeat offender. You may think, oh poor witty, low self esteem, she's always looking down... BUT.....I may just be checking out your package, my dear sir. SCORE!!!!!!! (me doing the naughty kitty dance).

4. Have you "done it"? Done what? (thanks Retail...I kept your answer!)

5. What is your favourite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Ass.

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? No, but I once went to San Francisco with my high school music teacher and he propositioned a hooker and asked how much a threesome would be. Yeah...see why I have issues?

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? No.


GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? 0

2. What's your guilty pleasure store? Michael's, which is an art supply store.

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Buy a car immediately. Buy a house. Pay off my shrink bill, which is rather large. Set up a day long beauty spa thing with a massage and facial and naked boys tickling my naked body with peacock feathers. I'd get my mom a new car. I'd head to NYC and see every Broadway show I wanted to. And then I would contribute some money towards mental health agencies and art programs.

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? What good is being famous, if you're not rich?

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? No. I need to be stimulated. Nothing is worth being bored over.

6. Have you ever stolen anything? Other than glances at married men, no.

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? None. I don't even know what a MP3 is. A gun?
.

PRIDE

1. What's one thing you have done that you're most proud of? I'm still astounded that I sold a painting last year. I keep thinking somebody will come up to my front door and demand a refund or something, especially since it was my first one.

2. What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of? Hard to say. They weren't real big on the words, "Good job".

3. What's one thing would you like to accomplish in your life? To find my soulmate before its too late to enjoy it.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Yes.

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Only in a delusional sense.

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? No.

7. What did you do today that you're proud of? I made somebody laugh in my art class.


ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? Probably just anyone's car that is in better condition than mine.

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? If my friendship hadn't ended with Married Guy, probably him. He was just renovating his house when I last saw him and he was doing a great job. It looked really nice.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? Nobody in particular, just somebody who is more at peace with themselves, and who has a nice house and nice cool clothes and a nice art studio overlooking a creek.

4. Have you ever been cheated on? Once I was dating someone and I just happen to glance at the personal ads in the newspaper I was working for and saw this ad. I read it, blah, blah, blah and at the end of it, lo and behold, it had my boyfriend's post office box number. He was dating me and scoping out new chicks. Well, wasn't that special? And this was right about the time I was about to give him my luscious and beautiful body to fornicate. Well, guess what? Changes of plans...bucko! Can you imagine? And it was the fucking newspaper I WORKED FOR????

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Yes. Fifty pounds less. And a different nose. My mom always made fun of my nose when I was growing up, so I was always self conscious about it and still am.

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? The ability to be comfortable with people and accept my flaws.

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