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2006-10-25 @ 1:40 a.m.
tom cruise guest entry

Int.: Tom Cruise computer room. 1:40 a.m.

Hi! I'm Tom Cruise!

Its so cool being able to look out at you from my computer. Katie said I couldn't do this, but Ha! I guess I can! wittykitty? Why are you only wearing your underwear and earrings? I better not look, otherwise the aliens will try and eat my brain cells. But don't my hands look really big? Isn't that super weird? Katie is always telling me that's the ONLY big thing on me. My nose. But who's laughing now, huh? You can't even see my nose. Because my hands are covering it! Ha, ha, ha! I'm way smarter than Katie! Way! Girls are dumb. Well, except for the black lady Oprah. She's way cool. I love talking to her. She just...I don't know....gets me. She doesn't yell at me when I jump on the furniture like Nicole used to. Nicole would always yell at me everytime I watched "Battlefield Earth". She'd be really mean and say "Take a pill, Tom!" Katie is a lot nicer though. She let me adopt an Asian baby and name it Suri. She's cool too, I guess. She doesn't make me know...(whispering) sex. We just watch old musicals and I get to fly airplanes like in "Top Gun" and look all Joe Cool in my Raybans. She did get mad when I proposed at the Eiffel Tower though. She said it was like standing next to a giant penis and I was like just showing off. Hee. hee. Katie said "penis". But don't you think my hands look huge? That is so cool! Mongo hands...roar!!! Katie, come look!

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty