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2007-02-16 @ 8:21 p.m.
only a ghost would know

My old apartment used to be haunted. Honest to god. Things would fling themselves off themselves. Stereos would turn themselves themselves. Computer printers would turn themselves themselves. My landlord's car once turned itself itself. I had walked outside. It was dark, naturally since it was after 1 a.m. Their house was dark. Nobody was in the car. It was just itself. It was so freaky. I was never really scared by any of this stuff, even though I'm scared of literally everything else in the freakin' universe...just not ghosty things. If they want to have their little fun, by turning on electrical things and tossing random groceries off the counter, be my guest.

I can even remember being at my friend's condo once in California during an "event". We were just sitting there chatting. She had high ceilings and stairs coming down from the second level. I just vaguely glanced over and saw "people" walking down the stairs. Heh. I wasn't even smoking pot that night either. I didn't say anything, because who wants to say, "Gee, I didn't want to mention this, but there's kinda some translucent people walking down your stairs. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!" But I didn't have to because Val's whole face blanched and she said, "Did you see that?" and I was like "What? (long pause) People?"

Needless to say, she spent the night at my house.

My mom has problems too. I don't know how ghostly her's are though. First let me explain this dream she has all the time. She wakes up and there's a man standing at her bedroom door and she starts screaming to get out of her bedroom and he just continues to stand there. I don't know if this is just an issue from her childhood OR, and stay with me here, someone is ACTUALLY standing there. Why? Because in the last three years she has been severely injured twice in her bedroom in the middle of the night and just recently she had almost $500 stolen in her apartment.

Now I'm not exaggerating when I say severely injured. Three winters ago, she woke up and was severely bleeding out of her right eye. In fact, when she stumbled into the bathroom, she was convinced that her eyeball was gone. Now my mom is well known for a touch of melodrama...I mean well known. But that morning, at dawn, her whole face was covered in blood and as usual she wouldn't call 911. She has this thing about NOT calling 911. Oh no, its tooooooo embarrassing. Doesn't want to disturb the neighbors. So she called her friend who lives about 25 miles away and cried, "I think my eyeball is gone". Since none of us really believe her anymore, her friend tried to calm her down and said to call their mutual friend who actually lived in the complex to come over and investigate. So she called him, he came over and nearly puked, because for once, the girl who cried wolf was actually really injured. So HE called 911. She ended up having broken bones in her cheek and eye socket. They had to sew her eyelid back together, since it was split right up the middle. And her eye was damaged but not permanently. It looked hideous though.

How did it happen? Unknown. She said she rolled out of bed and hit a nearby chest. The only problem? The chest was like WAY over there and she would have had to have flung herself an additional 4 feet that-a-way when she was rolling out of bed. I don't buy it. I think somebody smashed her in the face with a serious right hook. The injury was just way too severe for a mere bed rolling.

Fast forward to last Fall. Another "bed-rolling injury". This time? A huge gaping hole in her shin. It looked like someone took a hammer and just smashed it into her leg. The care of the injury was initially fucked up by some inexperienced P.A. who swabbed it with some alcohol, wrapped it with some sterile padding and sent her home. She almost immediately got a staph infection and was in a lot of pain for several months and plus it looked hideous. She again said she fell out of bed and hit her leg on a nearby computer tower....that was like 4 feet away from the bed.

Are we starting to see a pattern form here?

And then she just had some money disappear. It was a large amount for someone on disability. She hid it in a rather open spot. Under something. Under something that some apartment workers had moved a couple of months ago when they were installing something. She's telling me she lost it. I think it was stolen. Unfortunately she won't call the police. Why? Because she has two cats. Only one is allowed. She is afraid they will make her give up one of her cats she's had for over 15 years.

Am I frustrated? Yes. I really don't know what is going on over at her apartment complex. It looks nice from the outside, but I wonder if people have keys or kids are breaking in and beating up old ladies or an antagonistic ghost is kicking some ass. I just don't know what to do.

And then I had the weirdest thing happen tonight. It was almost like the ghosties from my old place decided to visit for old time sakes. About three months ago I misplaced my remote control. I used to lose it all the time, but then one day I just lost it for good. And I looked everywhere. I even stuck my arm way under the couch feeling amongst the dust bunnies. But it was history.

Tonight I was still looking for lost checks and I pulled out a sealed box I had way under my kitchen counter. Its been behind all my cat food bags, theoretically since I moved here in August of 2005. So I open it up to see what's in there and there's old photos, miscellaneous paperwork, some artwork, some checks and WTF...


Holy shit! I almost had a heart attack. What the hell was it doing in there??? Is that not totally freaking-out freaking freaky?? There had to have been some kind of ghostly intervention there. Like Beetlejuice saying "witty, get off your lazy ass and turn your TV channels, yourself!!"

Yeah, definitely.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty