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2007-04-05 @ 2:44 p.m.
some confusion at the chinese food place

So Tuesday, after a late afternoon appointment, instead of going home for dinner before my Art Board Meeting, I just went to the yuppie grocery store for some Chinese food. They have a pretty decent selection and I always like sitting in their cafe boyfriend hunting people watching.

But first it was time for my selection of food along the buffet they have set up. I always get just about the same things. White rice, fried noodles, sweet and sour pork and then I pick through the kung pao chicken for the peanuts. Not sure why. I like the chicken okay, but I love peanuts. So I'm picking through the chicken, lobbing peanuts onto my plate when I hear this soft accented voice say, "You like penis? You like penis" and I was like WTF? So I look and see this little Chinese man dressed in a chef's outfit, pointing towards the kung pao chicken and he said it again, "You like the penis?" I just nodded my head like you do when you don't quite understand what somebody's saying. So he disappears and I just go back to putting a couple more peanuts on my plate and then suddenly he reappears with a coffee cup full of peanuts.

Him: "You like penis?" Me: (to myself) "Ohh...peanuts!" So I thanked him for the "penis". I actually didn't know what to do with them, since you pay for your food by the pound and I had this big heavy cup full of peanuts, so I just jammed it in my pocket and paid for the rest of the stuff I got. Was I stealing? Maybe. Not really sure what the protocol is when some little Chinese guy from the kitchen gives you an unsolicited paper cup full of peanuts.

The meeting went pretty well. We did have to move it from its usual location at the school to a very noisy store cafe (a different one). There was a TV blaring overhead and J asked our fellow Cafe dwellers if we could turn it down and some guy totally fritzed out and said he came to the store to watch TV and he better not, or he'd kick his ass. Hrrummph! Well, that settled that. So we had to talk over the top of Fox News. Our art conference in May is looking very good. I had missed a meeting last month, but all our speakers are all set and now we're just planning the publicity and graphics (my department).

I did finally get my new computer on the Wide Wonderful World of the Internet, after a lengthy call to Roadrunner. Oy! I had paid my bill Tuesday and gotten a new installation disk, which naturally didn't work. What? You didn't think I could just put a disk in and everything would work, did you? Nothing about this computer has been easy.

So I talked to this kid for about 45 minutes, during which my phone decided to become possessed like in "The Exorcist" and we could hear strange voices coming from it, which kept prompting the guy to say "What? What?" and I kept saying "Its not me. Its not me." And then the phone completely lost its sound at one point. I mean I could hear him yelling "Are you there? Are you there?" And I'm yelling "Yes! Don't hang up" and then I whacked it on my desk several times and regained the connection. And this isn't even a cell phone.

So now all I need is a photo-editing program to toss the old computer. My old program doesn't appear to work in this one, and I absolutely need a good photo editing program, so I'm going to be getting Photoshop from Charlemagne, which brings me to Wednesday.

I swear, I'm gonna whack that boy in the head shortly. He never called requesting help so I got there about eight minutes until we were due to open our art class and there was nothing done and Charlemagne was frantically shouting into his cell phone as usual. Evidently the model he had booked was a no-show and he was trying to find someone else and nothing was set up and he was cursing up a storm. OH.WHAT.FUN!

So I started doing the physical stuff. Pulling out desks and easels and the money box and registration book. And then people started filtering in. Fortunately, one of our other monthly hosts came, so he helped set up the stage, which is way too heavy for just me. He did finally find a model, but since it was so last moment, AND we didn't want to hold up the class, he decided to model for us. I was all excited because I momentarily thought, I'd get to see Charlemagne in the Full Monty. He has a nice body and well, heh, I definitely have always wanted to see....the rest of the story, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink.

But alas, no Full Monty for witty. Wah!! And also at first he said he was going to strip down to his shorts. And then he only ended up going shirtless, with his jeans. Double wah!! And I was so in the mood, since I had had a quick date with B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend) right before class. I bad!

But at least I got to see him shirtless, with all his many tattoos. Woof! And then one of our skinny anorexic chick models showed up, and the fun was over. But Charlemagne was so full of himself afterwards. It was so funny.

Afterwards it was still chaotic though. I actually think chaos just follows Charlemagne around. I felt really sick right after class and ended up in the bathroom puking. Suddenly I could hear this loud banging on the door and Charlemagne was yelling, "Where's the rollers?" and I yelled back "I'm in the bathroom!" and he yelled "Where's the rollers for the stage!" and I yelled back "I'm in the fucking bathroom. I don't know!" Is this what being married is like?

Anyways, I am still sick today. I was originally going to do laundry, but its snowing and my trips to the bathroom are somewhat unpredictable. So I'm just home today with Guardcat. At least she doesn't yell at me when I'm in the bathroom.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty