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2004-01-10 @ 11:55 a.m.
calendar chaos

Live from Popsicle City, or at least that's what a radio DJ called our city yesterday. When I let the dog out it was -12. When I went for an appointement at noon it was -6, and then last night it was supposed to dive to -20. The lowest temp of the year and closest to the lowest ever recorded.

And just that day I got an e-mail from my gay friend in Arizona...the real estate guy who was my first boyfriend in high school.

"Hey, its 72 degrees here, why don't you move to Arizona, and buy a house from me!?!"

Hon, I would worship at your altar of Liza Minnelli for a trip to Arizona right now, but buying a house is not an option. In fact, I had to talk to my case manager about finding a new food pantry just so I can survive.

But I did go to the Mall out of sheer boredom yesterday. No one bought me a calendar for Christmas this year, damn them, and I have to have one, so I can remember where the hell I am supposed to be and when. And of course all the calendars are 50% off now.

I am actually waiting for when they mark them down to $3 each, but I thought I would get a head start since it takes me so damn long to decide which one to buy.

I had already checked out Barnes and Nobles last week and was really disappointed. All they had left were dog calendars and "Cat in the Hat" calendars...lots of the those...did that movie bomb?

But yesterday I scored big at our bigger mall. I went to Borders and there were probably about 300 different calendars left to pick from.

This used to be a good thing, but as I mentioned, I have an incredibly difficult time deciding among things. I used always get the 'kitty' calendar every year. Aww cute kitty. Easy. Then I went through the Ireland calendar phase. And now I'm in the artist phase.

But there were so many to choose from that I spent nearly an hour just looking. There was the Office Yoga one, the Tasty, Crazy Spam one, Terminator III (how many governors do you know that have their own calendars?), the Sweet Potatoes Queens Book of Love, Extreme Oragnizers (naw, won't need that), Schnauzers, Garden Gnomes (my landlords would love that one), 007 James Bond, Peanuts, Bruce "The Boss" (I know someone who would like that, but I already got Married Guy his calendar), some really great art calendars of such artists as Mark Rothko, Andy Warhol, Clemens Briel, Monet. Although my absolute favorite artist, Diego Rivera was missing in action. Where was his calendar?? Where, where, where?

But I think my favorite calendar, amongst the lot, had to be 2004 Monthly Doos. What was that? Pictures of dog poop from around the world. Can you freakin' believe that? Piles of dog shit with Scottish Castles in the background. That is definitely going on my Christmas list next year, although being a cat person, its only fair, that someone starts following a kitty with a camera in the coming months.

So what calender did I end up with? None. I was so overwhelmed with the choices that I got brain freeze and went away empty handed. I think I will just wait for the $3 sale and get one of those beautiful art calendars.

I was really glad to get home though. The frigid air was about akin to someone scrubbing your face with steel wool for about five minutes.

I took a long hot bath with my favorite bath salts. The bath salts that are supposed to promote peace, happiness and joy, but I sure didn't feel any of those. I've actually been feeling pretty depressed. I always get this way in January and February.

I guess I should talk to my shrink about it. He's been on a one man campaign to get me hooked up with a man, but a lot of times we just kind of smooth over such ongoing problems as self confidence and intense shyness. I'm outgoing with him, because I've known him for 7 years, but to the rest of the world, I pretty much just look at the ground and blend in with the scenery. I'm also feeling sad about the loss of Zenshrink. Not what he did, definitely not that, but he WAS a support and to have him abruptly pulled out from under me, has been difficult. I'm also still feeling the pain of feeling betrayed by him.

So last night, I was pretty much just sitting in my bathtub full of freakin' peace, joy and happiness weeping and sobbing uncontrollably.

I think I'm going to ask for a refund. That damn stuff just WASN'T working.

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Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty