2006-01-17 @ 11:21 p.m.
Cue Music: (to be sung to Simon and Garfunkle's "Sound of Silence")
For the cholesterol softly creeping,
Left its mark while I was sleeping,
And the fat that was planted in my ass,
Still remains, with a pound of Hershey's.
Do you know what its like to deprive yourself of sugar for a three day weekend while watching a bunch of movies with gratuitous sex scenes in them? Rough. So I finally got out of my apartment 1) Because I was running out of food. 2) I had to go to work to make enough money to buy more donuts. 3) I had a flat tire and I had to figure out what to do about it. 4) I had an appointment with the ever-delightful "A".
Although I really wasn't sure if I worked today. I normally work Monday, but we had the holiday and yet I vaguely remember something about a Tuesday meeting. So I started calling people in the morning...my Boss (got voice mail)...."J"....(got voice mail)...the receptionist...(she didn't see any rooms booked for a meeting) and then I called another co-worker "L". She sounded a little groggy when she answered her phone. I said, "Do you know if we have a meeting this morning?" and she said, "I don't know, I'm in Florida on vacation." Whoops.
So I just decided to chance it and drive into town since the weather was pretty good and fortunately there was, in fact, a meeting. And a cake for one of my co-workers who just opened a new retail store specializing in hip hop clothing. I had made him a flyer a couple of weeks ago. He asked me how to use a publishing program, but he was just going to type some blah words on a piece of paper and I wanted him to have something nice for his new business, so I sat down with him and created a flyer. He just smiled shyly when I handed it to him and then said he'd "hook me up" at his shop. So I may soon be referred to Fifty Cent kittyYO!
During our little party/meeting I reminded our boss that "J" and my birthday was coming up shortly and we could combine our birthdays and have one cake, even though we no longer do birthday cakes. I'm not sure how impressed she was with the idea. After the meeting "J" came up behind me in my cubical and scared the living shit out of me. He wanted to know when my birthday was. I only knew his because our birthdays are written on a bulletin board up in the reception area and his is at the end of January. So I told him mine was February 12th, and I almost blurted out, "In case you want to start shopping for my birthday gift NOW", you know, since my last "joke" about buying me a gift worked so well.
It's just how my mouth works. The brain is about 3 seconds behind the mouth, and the filtering of intelligent and careful conversations lags about another 18 seconds beyond that. And I don't know if its because I'm bipolar and we're kind of like an uncontrolled substance that needs to be sent to a lab to be poked and prodded to figure out what our qualities are or whether its all the years I've lived alone and talked aloud to the cat and to myself, saying things like "This is poop" when I walk by one of my drawings or "I'm taller and better looking than you" when I walk by my cat.
But I did manage to catch myself and just tell him the date. And hopefully he will write it down and look at it repeatedly and dream about it and obsess about and wonder how he can top his last gift.
I had a few more errands after work, like going to the skeevy food stamp office where I heard a black girl tell her friend they had shut the heat off in her apartment and the water in her fish bowl had frozen her fish Sharkey into a fish ice-cube.
And then in an effort to get all the skeeviness of the food stamp and Medicaid germs off me, I stopped at the yuppie grocery store for lunch. Just had some Chinese food. Nearly bumped into a cute guy over vegetarian low mein. I went to turn and his face was like 3 inches from mine. He smiled and apologized. Yeeks. I sat down first and then he sat two tables over and was flirting with one of the workers. Guess he was just a playah.
I then went to the shrinkster at 4. Poor "A" had this contraption strapped to his knee. I guess he had strained some cartilage or something, and had his pant leg rolled all the way up over his knee. Naturally I had to take advantage of a disabled shrink, so I struck a karate pose, with my hand poised everso dangerously close to his sore knee and went "Hiiiii-YA!". Ha! He did cringe everso slightly. I then said that if he made me do any sMatch.com things I would definitely not miss the "NEXT TIME" Bwahahahaha!!!!
I did have a little fun in my art class at the "Y" last night. The boy art teacher was once again bounding around the room, being all irreverent and artsy. And when I came in, he remembered my name, which he only did with one other person out of 7-8 people, so I guess that was good. He had suggested that we bring something in to paint and I was originally going to bring in some Frida Kahlo stuff, but than at the last minute I brought in a newer Kandinski book of art and now I really don't know why. His stuff was pretty hard to paint, but I still made a valiant attempt.
What is it? Well, first of all the image is cut off on all four sides because of my mini-me scanner, but it looked like a bunch of robed Middle Eastern figures standing next to a white wall. The colors on the original were a lot more pastelly. I kind of made them richer looking, although I'm not sure if that was a good choice. Hmm. But a couple of people wandered by and said they liked it.
I once again sat next to the old yuppie couple from the Village. You remember, the woman who painted three dots of paint for 2 hours. I didn't look to see what she did last night, because I wanted to finish mine, but all she did was talk about was how slow she was and how great her husband was at painting. I did look at his. He was doing something in the paint with an unfolded paperclip and it was scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape for like 2 freakin' hours. My god man, can't you do something a little less anal retentive?
And then when I get home, I see Guardcat going all whacka-doo and I think its all for me, her beloved mommy and I set my painting down and I see her running towards me with a live mouse dangling from her mouth! So I guess, Thaddeus Part Deux is once again part of the wittykitty household.
I just wished the little bastard would contribute something towards the rent.
Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty