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2006-01-24 @ 11:34 p.m.
so trivial it may not even be worth pursuing

I recently found a British website that had some absolutely amazing trivia about...


Who knew? Unfortunately their large stunning graphic couldn't quite fit into my svelte website, so I decided to just filch the jaw droppingly interesting trivia info, because I just know you've been clearing your calendar for the next edition of the incredibly self indulgent fascinating tidbits about my incredibly boring stimulating life. So without further ado...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Awittykitty

  • 1. Awittykitty can last longer without water than a camel can. I'd really have to. I only live a quarter mile from a Target store where they sell Diet Coke with lime. Get real. Camels? Aren't they like in Egypt or something?

  • 2. Awittykitty cannot jump!

    Oh my goodness, this is just patently untrue. I'm very jumpy. You can ask my shrink. I mean, you come up behind me at my cubical when I'm secretly looking at diaryland during work hours, and you'll really see me jump. Hoo boy!

  • 3. Two grams of awittykitty provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours!

    I really wanted to keep this under wraps because Lord know, George Bush will probably want to sink an oil well into my freakin' forehead or something. But yes, its true. You can plug your appliances into me and they'll get turned on immediately. What? You don't believe me?

  • 4. About one-tenth of awittykitty is permanently covered in ice.

    I think they may have me confused with Martha Stewart and I think the iciness might be closer 80%, to be honest.

  • 5. You share your birthday with awittykitty!

    Yes, its true. I share a birthday with ALL OF YOU and expect a present from each and every one of you on your birthdays. Its only fair since I'm omnipotent. Do you know how much energy it takes to be omnipotent AND run TVs for 23 hours a day. You think I have time to go shopping for all YOUR dumb birthday presents?? Sheesh!

  • 6. The fingerprints of awittykitty are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

    "Indistinguishable from those of humans...." Hmmm. My mom used to tell me that she had picked me off a mango tree out in the yard, when I was a kid. And now with no fingerprints, what the makings of a perfect murde...ummm, heh, heh, never mind, mom.

  • 7. Over 2000 people have now climbed awittykitty, with roughly ten percent dying on the way down.

    Climbed or mounted? (only in your dreams, dear delusional witty, only in your dreams)

  • 8. The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, awittykitty and compline.

    Matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext... What are these? Names for Gwyneth Paltrow's next baby?

  • 9. If you chew gum while peeling awittykitty then it will stop you from crying!

    If you're peeling awittykitty, I hope its not a scene from "Silence of the Lambs". Yeeks.

  • 10. Awittykitty will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music!

    "What's on your iPod, dude?"

    5 comments so far << | >>

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  • Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty