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2005-08-09 @ 12:26 p.m.
six degrees of separation from the beatles...sorta


I have such an interesting inbox on the internet. Aside from all my lovely diaryland correspondence, I also had the following e-mail subject lines waiting for my perusal this week:
  • "This is your Mom on drugs." (Actually much less frightening then you think, if you know my mom.)
  • "The NRA's Next move: Guns in the Workplace." (Considering that I work with the mentally ill - RUN!!!!!!!)
  • "Don't Miss Walmart's Latest Advertised special!" (how the hell did I get on their mailing list?)
  • "Have social anxiety....You're not alone." (Um, gotta disagree here. Chances are if I have social anxiety, I probably am alone...you know the SOCIAL anxiety thingie)
    And my favorite...
  • "Want to find a fuckbuddy?" (Ha. Without my glasses I thought it said Fuckdaddy and thought it was one of those agencies trying to hook up filipino mail order whores to rich white guys. But, yes to the fuckbuddy. Definitely. Thanks. Especially some stranger off the internet.

    Incidently, the text in the e-mail breathlessly read: "There is this free dating site filled with tons of sex-o-holics. No flowers, no gifts, just meet up for some action :). There are also some who want something serious though. So if you want a long-termer, or a one-nighter, you got it ;). Whatever floats your boat pretty much!"

    Kinda like a church social, I guess.

    So it appears that I have been tagged by the extremely dangerous and wildly amusing Blue Meany , the real Weapon of Laugh Destruction in Iraq. I guess I must choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band. Unfortunately I am a total rainman when it comes to knowing bands and song titles. I really don't listen to that much popular music. Now if we were doing Broadway musicals, I could play this game to infinity, but I'll try my best. So I choose The Beatles.

    I'm tossing out the first question. Are you male or female? since that would require the removal of clothing to check out my naughty bits and all my windows are open and the dentists next store might get an eye-ful, so onto the second one...
    Describe yourself:
    Day Tripper
    How do some people feel about you:
    Run for your Life
    How do you feel about yourself:
    The Fool on the Hill
    Describe your current significant other:
    Nowhere Man. As in where the hell is he? I can't find him.
    Describe where you want to be:
    Magical Mystery Tour
    Describe what you want to be:
    Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds (or at least Lucy in Suburbs with hubby)
    Describe how you live:
    With A Little Help From My Friends. (Thanks ďAĒ)
    Describe how you love:
    Twist and shout
    Share a few words of wisdom:
    Hey Jude...how Ďbout that nanny?

    Itís been a pretty sedate week so far. I am recovering from a really bad bug bite to my toe, which I think I got over the weekend when I went hiking. My baby toe has been swollen up like a big, red cherry tomato and itching. Its been very uncomfortable every time Iíve had to put on my shoes. Iíve been rubbing everything in the medicine cabinet on it including inveeno and cortisone cream. The cortisone cream seems to have been the most helpful and my need to walk around barefoot, even at work, has seemed to lessen today.

    Iím sure yesterday people were probably muttering damn hippie because I was walking barefoot around the office and had my sandals off during meetings. But damn, it was just too sore to have anything rubbing against it.

    Plus Iíve been extraordinarily fatigued the last couple of days and Iím hoping its not some creeping illness ready to overtake my body. Especially at this particular moment...when Iím just starting to get ready for my move. I have been working more than usual lately. I usually only work about 4-7 hours a week and last week I worked 18 hours and this week itíll probably be about 20 hours. I know to you full timers, thatís nothing, but Iíve been on disability for 5 years and Iím not exactly used to having my brain being on alert for that many hours in a row, plus I have all my extra curricular activities like my shrink appointment, my art classes. This last week I put together a 6 page newsletter for my art group. Iíve been cleaning out my house....getting rid of stuff....taking books to my favorite local library for their book sale in September....taking load after load to Goodwill....going to my section eight appointment, which actually scared me because he said my account was now closed out and my new place was going to be like a whole different account and I most likely wonít be getting any funding for September and my new apartment is almost $600 and I only get $750 on disability. Iím also waiting to hear from the other place which is supposed to be helping me with a deposit, but I havenít heard from them yet. I also have an art show at the end of August which I have to get ready for. But Iím just really starting to feel overwhelmed. Usually I only see my case mgr. twice a month, but sheís been letting me have appointments every week lately. I guess she realizes Iím on the verge of falling apart if I donít.

    I also havenít been seeing ďAĒ much lately either. He just got back from vacation and also he has his new job with a local corporation, so its really been hit and miss with my appointments and thatís been difficult. As much as Iíd like to think as myself as a free spirit, not having the same appointment every week has been hard. Heís just been plugging me into all different times and days and it makes it difficult to do my schedule at work, because I never know when heís going to change my appointment. Iíve already missed work once to get to one of his appointments and Iím going to be missing it again tomorrow. I just donít say anything, because Iím afraid he wonít give me an appointment because he thinks Iím complaining.

    Do you want some cheese with that whine, witty?

    Iím just feeling a little overwhelmed and all the heat weíve had this summer hasnít helped. I think weíre on about Day 21 of temperatures over 90 degrees. Our worst summer ever was 28 days. Plus we have some more 90 degree days coming up this week. And I live near Canada. Last summer we had exactly ONE day over 90 degrees. There must be some hole in the ozone layer and it must be directly over my house. And its giving me pimples, dammit!! Ever notice that? If you sweat profusely for like 21 days in a row, your skin starts looking like the surface of Saturn? Geeze, I hate that. And every night I go into my bathroom and swathe my face in Clearasil pads and it burns like hell and I look in the mirror and say, ďits for your own good, zitface.Ē

    So Iíve been trying to look on the bright side of things...if my skin is oily, I wonít get wrinkles as fast. Yeah! Woot! And I think that has happened, although my mom constantly takes full credit for all of us in our family looking younger than our actual ages. Although, what exactly does an actual 47 year old look like? What are the exact number of wrinkles a 47 year old should have? Or how many gray hairs should be springing forth? Or how many chin hairs, if youíre an aging goddess, should we have?

    I think the criteria for men and women are different. Iíve seen women my age who look a lot older...beaten down by life, fatter....they wear polyester (ewww)....or they donít listen to the news. Their whole lives are contained within the confines of their houses and it shows. Or they overdo it. They do tanning booths and pilates and look like musclely slabs of overcooked bacon. My brotherís girlfriend is like this. I really like her, but she looks way older than she is, because of excessive tanning. It has totally ruined her skin. She looks a good 5-8 years older than she actually is and older than my brother.

    Men are different though. For example ďAĒ and Married Guy are the same age (a year older than me). You would never know it though. Married Guy looks a lot older. Theyíre both runners so they both are very tanned, but Married Guy is pretty wrinkled and his hair, what was left of it, was totally gray. Plus he had a beard that made him look even older. ďAĒ on the other hand, has black, curly hair, no beard, very few light wrinkles and is so hyper and energetic, he reminds you of a teenager. I would guess his age around 40, probably.

    I guess what made me think of all this was my group I did with ďJĒ yesterday. We had a new guy in it named Peter and we somehow got talking about Ed Sullivan and I said that I got to meet him when I was a kid and this guy was like ďNo way.Ē and I was like ďWay!Ē and he said, ďThere is no way you are old enough to even know who Ed Sullivan is or to have watched him on TV!Ē and I was like ďI used to watch him every Sunday night with my family and I even remember when the Beatles were on in 1964 because my sister was a big Beatles fan and she used to stand in front of the TV and scream and jump up and down and I got scared because I thought she was having a seizure or something. ďJĒ, of course, was looking on, in some kind of apparent ďIíve never met any celebritiesĒ snit, because he said, ďOh, you know all the movie stars, witty.Ē And I was like, Iím sorry, but I did meet Ed Sullivan...twice. And Iím younger and better looking than you too. Ha. I didnít say that. I was just thinking that.

    I actually did meet him twice, because my mom used to work at a fancy hotel in Florida and he used to come to a celebrity golf tournament there every Spring and she used to push me into the path of every celebrity who was playing. I was terrified of all of them, of course...Bob Hope, Jackie Gleason, Gordon McCrea. But Ed Sullivan, though kind of cadaver-like, was very nice to me. And all the then-paparrazi thought it was funny that Ed Sullivan was stopping to talk to some solemn looking little girl along the golf course. I was only solemn because I was terrified. But he stopped and talked to me saying, ďYou better smile kid, otherwise, youíll end up looking like me.Ē I still wasnít convinced and wouldnít look at him and all the reporters and photographers thought this was pretty funny and started laughing. And then he leaned over closer and said, ďThis is the hand that just shook the hands of the Beatles last week. Do you want to shake it?Ē Well, I didnít really give a ratís ass about the Beatles, since I was only about 6, but I knew it would make my sister really, realllllly jealous, so I finally shook his hand and there were pictures taken and the next day my name was mentioned in the Miami Herald newspaper.

    So, Meany, I may not know the names of all the Beatles songs, but I kinda, sorta shook hands with them once a long time ago...

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  • Lyrics by Lennon/McCartney. All angst copyright by awittykitty

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